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Gay New Jersey couples seek marriage rights
Showing posts with label dependant care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dependant care. Show all posts

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Why Do Churches Care about Marriage Equality?


I am a 24-year-old straight single woman. If I were to get married in a courthouse, the church whose beliefs I ascribe to would call this a civil union and not a sacramental marriage. If I were then to obtain a legal divorce, my church would not recognize the dissolution of my marriage unless I obtained an annulment, thereby rendering any subsequent marriage an adultery in the eyes of God. I accept these things because I have chosen to abide by the rules of this faith.

What I don't understand is why we are fighting about same-sex marriage. If the government chooses to allow same-sex marriage, how does this make any difference in the eyes of the churches? They already can deny marriage to couples who don't choose to abide by their rules, and a lifting of a government ban won't change this First Amendment-protected right. The separation of church and state is a fundamental concept in the operation of our nation, but it's being overlooked here.

As to concerns about family values and moral corruption (which I won't comment on), aren't we as Christians (unfortunately, most of the group that is up in arms) called to love our neighbors -- everyone -- even if it's someone whose life choices we don't agree with? This battle is not one that should be fought on the national government scale.

We have more important things to worry about as a country -- like the extent of our foreign aid when there are millions in our own cities and rural areas in poverty without adequate housing, food or medical care. When we fight about issues like same-sex marriage, we are crippling the power of democracy, which we are so blessed to have. Let's stop being so selfish.

Jodi Dubyoski, Catonsville

Send your comments to talkback@baltimoresun.com.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Same Sex Marriage Bans Contribute to Health Disparities says AMA


The American Medical Association voted Tuesday to oppose the "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays in the military and declared that same-sex marriage bans contribute to health disparities.

The nation's largest doctors' group stopped short of saying it would seek to overturn marriage bans but its new stance angered conservative activists and provides a fresh boost to lobbying efforts by gay-rights advocates.

"It's highly significant that the AMA as one of this country's leading professional associations has taken a position on both of these issues," said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force in Washington.

The health disparities measure, "in the long run, will certainly help efforts to win marriage equality," Carey said.

Whether the AMA's lobbying power will hasten efforts to overturn the "don't ask, don't tell" law remains to be seen. President Obama has said he is working with congressional leaders to end the policy, and the AMA's stance will likely help, although gay rights issues have been upstaged by Obama's health care overhaul battle.

The AMA's vote took place at the group's interim policymaking meeting in Houston,

The health disparities policy is based on evidence showing that married couples are more likely to have health insurance and that the uninsured have a high risk for "living sicker and dying younger," said Dr. Peter Carmel, an AMA board member.

But Jenny Tyree, an analyst for Focus on the Family Action, a conservative advocacy group, called it a health insurance problem, not a marriage problem.

Doctors who pushed the group to oppose "don't ask, don't tell" say forcing gay service members to keep their sexual orientation secret has "a chilling effect" on open communication between gays and their doctors.


Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/11/11/MNBC1AICNU.DTL#ixzz0WZiipNO5

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Hearts and Minds brought their Vote


Washington State voters approved the new "everything but marriage" law, and made history by expanding rights for domestic partners and marking the first time any state’s voters have approved a gay equality measure at the ballot box.

The new law adds benefits, such as the right to use sick leave to care for a domestic partner, and rights related to adoption, child custody and child support.

During the campaign, opponents argued the law is a stepping-stone to gay marriage. Gay rights activists countered that while the marriage debate was for another day, same-sex couples need additional legal protections and rights in the meantime.

The measure asked voters to approve or reject the latest expansion of the state’s domestic partnership law, granting registered domestic partners additional state rights previously given only to married couples. Full-fledged gay marriage is still not allowed under Washington law. This is something that I have been saying for months to our fellow blended families;..."fight for the issues that concern you instead of the titles you wish to be known by..".

Gay equality laws in other states, ranging from civil rights to gay marriage, have either been implemented by the courts or legislative process (See Nov 4 blog post "Hearts and Minds"). Voters have rejected gay marriage 31 states, most recently in Maine, where voters repealed a gay marriage law on Tuesday.

The underlying domestic partnership law, which the Legislature passed in 2007, provided hospital visitation rights, the ability to authorize autopsies and organ donations, and inheritance rights when there is no will.

Last year, lawmakers expanded the law to give domestic partners standing under laws covering probate and trusts, community property and guardianship.

"Our state made history today," said Anne Levinson, chairwoman of Washington Families Standing Together, and she's right. Just yesterday we were tweeting about how these laws for equality have long been implemented by legislatures, but here in Washington state, the people brought their own votes to the ballot boxes because in their hearts and in their minds, they knew it was the right thing to do.

Washington state, along with California, Oregon, New Jersey, and the District of Columbia, have laws that either recognize civil unions or domestic partnerships that afford same-sex couples similar rights to marriage.

Same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa and Vermont, and will start in New Hampshire in January. What's important to note here also is that the voters in Washington had a reason to support this initiative that has not been on any other ballot in the nation; these domestic partnerships are also for heterosexuals as well as long as one partner is at least 62 years old. This helps those who are afraid of losing pensions and benefits if they legally remarry.

They brought in another demographic. Equality is not about leveling the playing field for gays, its simply about leveling the playing field for us all. You legislation has to include other demographics or the people of that state will never get behind it. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The "Every Child Deserves a Family" Act?


Do we really think that the "system" can continue to absorb the weight and brunt of unwanted children crowded into an outdated and overwhelmed capacity? Well thats precisely what "they" say when children are denied same sex couples; when families are not permitted to bring in additional children to nurture and care for.

There's new legislation however and if passed, the new bill could restrict federal funding for states with anti-LGBT adoption and foster policies.

The ’Every Child Deserves a Family Act,’ which was introduced by U.S. Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA) on Oct. 15, would penalize states with outdated adoption policies that restrict access based on marital status, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

"We got 25,000 kids a year maturing out of the welfare system without permanent foster care or adoptive care, and the prospects of those children having a successful adult life are diminished greatly," Stark told the Washington Blade. "These are kids who end up in the criminal justice system, or end up homeless."

The legislation would directly affect states with explicit adoption restrictions, including Utah, Florida, Arkansas, Nebraska, and Mississippi.

The bill has received support from Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House. According to Drew Hammill, Pelosi’s spokesperson, the Speaker believes that children "should have the security of two fully sanctioned and legally recognized parents, whether those parents are of the same or opposite sex."

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and Family Equality Council (FEC), both LGBT rights organizations, have also offered their support.

According to Stark, a hearing on the bill could take place in a House Ways & Means Committee this year.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Census set to count Gays!


After working on a temporary basis for the Census Bureau back in early 2000,I understand the importance of being counted. Don't want to give you a "lesson" in government, ok, yes I do; the Census counts citizens in each district in the U.S. and reports those numbers to Congress. Why?

The numbers are reported so that Congress can "fairly" allocate appropriations (money) to the important things in thoee districts for those peopel WHO WERE COUNTED. So its important to fill that Census report out...its your money! Which is why it is extremely great news that the Census Bureau will now count same sex couples.

The U.S. Census Bureau is making an unprecedented effort to include same-sex couples in next year’s national population count, but legally married gay couples won’t show up as such in the official once-a-decade tally, bureau representatives said Thursday.

Statistical problems related to the development of the 2010 census form and the evolving legal state of same-sex relationships led Census officials to conclude that trying to include married gay couples in the overall snapshot of household marital status could yield an inaccurate number, said Gary Gates, a University of California, Los Angeles demographer who has been advising the bureau on gay issues.

Instead, same-sex married couples will be added into the category for unmarried partners, just as they were for the 2000 census. But in a marked policy departure, the agency plans to make the data on same-sex couples who described themselves as married available on a state-by-state basis.

Gates stressed that it was important for gay couples to participate in the census, noting that information drawn from the last one had been used in lawsuits dealing with same-sex marriage and to lobby congressional representatives who may wrongly assume they do not have many gay constituents.

Because same-sex marriages were not legal in any U.S. state a decade ago, the 2010 census is the first for which the bureau has wrestled with how to count married same-sex couples. In June, census officials announced that they would make the attempt, reversing an earlier decision made under the Bush administration.

Since then, however, it’s become clearer that a wildly inflated number could be produced if the number of heads of household who said they lived with another adult of the same sex, and described that person as a husband or wife, were only counted.

The annual American Community Survey the bureau produced for 2008, for example, had 150,000 married same-sex couples spread across every U.S. state, even though only two states - Massachusetts and for a 5-month period, California - allowed same-sex marriages. Gates estimates there are probably no more than 35,000 legally married gay couples in the country now.

Undercounting same-sex couples also remains a significant concern, Gates said, since some couples may not be living openly and fear discrimination.

Tim Olsen, assistant chief of the bureau’s field division, told gay community leaders "We have a big opportunity to create a picture of America that includes us. We are not invisible anymore," Olsen said.

This census marks the first time that gays and lesbians have been targeted for minority outreach efforts that also include reaching out to groups deemed "hard to reach" because of their disaffection with the government.

The gay community campaign will include a Web site, scheduled to go up in about two weeks, called Our Families Count, as well as advertising campaigns in cities with large gay populations. Among the video vignettes meant to demonstrate the nation’s diversity on the main census site is one featuring a transgender person, Olsen said.

You have to remember that every step towards this equality race counts. Don't just focus on Prop 8; This is not a one hit wonder.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Republicans Challenge Fed to be Example to LGBT


Republican support for the domestic partnership benefits and obligations act will ensure that America’s workforce is competitive at home and abroad

Following a Friday, October 16 hearing led by Senators Susan Collins (R-ME) and Joe Lieberman (I-CT) on the Domestic Partnership Benefits And Obligations Act (S. 1102), Log Cabin Republicans National Chairman, Terry Hamilton, made the following statement:

“As the largest civilian employer in the nation, the United States government should be leading the way to ensure conditions are in place to attract and retain the best and brightest who pursue public service. Right now, it lags behind 22 other states, the District of Columbia and a majority of Fortune 500 companies. It is high time that this legislation moves forward with bipartisan support. Log Cabin Republicans is especially thankful to Senator Collins for standing with us in support of this issue.”

Log Cabin Republicans national spokesperson Charles T. Moran comments: “This legislation should be a no-brainer – employment benefits should be extended equally. There is no place for discrimination in the federal workforce, and conservatives should support legislation that will ensure that the federal government, like the private sector, is able to attract and retain top talent. This legislation will strengthen the federal workforce and ensure that the federal government is a competitive employer.”

The Domestic Partners Benefits and Obligations Act of 2009 (S. 1102, H.R. 2517) would provide the same family benefits to lesbian and gay federal civilian employees as are already provided to employees with different-sex spouses.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Coming in 'Second, under the radar!


As you know, I like to bring new information to you from around the world as well as from all over the nation to keep you aware and informed of all the LGBT happenings and news. You really have to be excited about what seems like a slew of late breaking advancements in the realms of equality.

Since we have been focusing so much lately on adoptions and surrogacies, I wanted to share this latest update about "Second Parent Adoptions". A second parent adoption is a legal procedure that allows a same-sex parent to adopt a partner’s biological or adoptive child without terminating the legal rights of the first parent. Most importantly, unlike the same sex marriage issues, States must honor second-parent adoptions from other states.

Second-parent adoption is authorized in California by statute - and where appellate courts have ruled that the state adoption law permits second-parent adoption.

A statute is a law passed by a legislature. An appellate court is about appeals. It has the power to review the judgment of another lower court or tribunal. Second-parent adoption is authorized by statute in Colorado, Connecticut, and Vermont.

Appellate courts have ruled that the state adoption law permits second-parent adoption in the District of Columbia, Illinois, Indiana, Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.

Trial courts have granted second-parent adoptions in Alabama, Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Iowa, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Texas, and Washington.

Appellate courts have ruled that state adoption law does NOT permit second-parent adoption in Nebraska, Ohio, and Wisconsin.

It is unclear in the following 22 states whether the state adoption law permits second- parent adoptions: Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming.

But what is important is, you have to know whats going on around you in order to ensure you clearly understand what it is you support and lobby for. Familyblendz is happy to bring this information to you. Stay informed.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Gay Immigration Equality...or Unfairness? Let's stay focused!



The New York City Council passed a resolution Wednesday supporting a congressional bill to allow American citizens to sponsor their foreign-born, same-sex partners in the naturalization process.

The idea behind this goes kinda like this; Anyone who is not from the United States may be permitted to begin the Naturalization, or path to citizenship through their sponsorship or "partnering" up of their same sex significant other. Clearly, their are problems with this. You have to almost begin by wondering, "where do you start first with this one"?

First, this path has left a bitter taste with hetero couples. How many people or stories have you heard with someone from another country paying someone to marry them and live with them for 2yrs, federal law, so they could apply for citizenship? Those problems won't go away, they will only increase.

Gay Immigration sounds like a great idea, but I can't help but think "are we ready for this legal fight"? We very well may, but what a slippery slope that will be. I am one of those "americans" who are strong supporters of an even stronger immigration policy-to prevent illegals and undocumented workers from entering the country. Or even worse, to ensure terrorists are not allowed in through relaxed policies. So how can I be strong on immigration reform, but willing to relax those same policies for the GLBT community?

It almost goes against the 'Equality we are all fighting for. Well, that's my soap box. The resolution on the Uniting American Families Act of 2009 was passed within two weeks of being introduced. Eight people, including Immigration Equality executive director Rachel Tiven, testified to the Immigration Committee on September 29 in favor of the resolution.

Jerrold Nadler, a congressman representing parts of Brooklyn and Manhattan, is the leading sponsor of the House's version of the bill. Vermont's Patrick Leahy is the sponsor of the Senate's version.

Let's make sure, we don't allow politicians a free ride on their campaign pledges. What I mean is, they propose legislation that they know won't get passed, but they win a feather in their hats, simply because they proposed it. That shouldn't be enough. Mr. Leahy, I truly feel like this is one of those times. The Senate is no where close to relaxing immigration laws for hetero americans, they're definitely not considering relaxing these rules for the GLBT community.

Keep in mind, John McCain stayed closed in the run upto 'election '08 simply because he was able to rally the GOP around Immigration Reform. Let's keep our eye's on the ball folks...this dog won't hunt.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

My 14 year old Champion!


Looking to plan a birthday party for our oldest daughter next month. It will be her first birthday party in so many years. I think each year, we've wanted to plan one for her, but it just never seemed to pan out as we would have wished.

So this year, as she turns 14, wow, just to think of that, 14 years old, I think we've settled on a theme.....lol, I think. She wants a skating party at a rink with some friends from school. Elle and I are more inclined to just go along with that...I mean, she's got her own ideas of what she wants and how she wants to celebrate it so...I dunno.

Through it all, she's handled a lifetime of transition like a champion would. She's still 14 and very much still a child, but in so many ways her support for my happiness has been unconditional and full. We're still a month away from her birthday, but wanted to get a head start with some of the details to ensure we get it right!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

FamilyBlendz Training in Florida


On October 3rd, the ACLU of Florida, along with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Family Equality Council, and SAVE Dade, hosted a free training event at the Miami-Dade GLBT Expo that will provide participants with the skills to take a stand against Florida's ban on gay adoption and support litigation challenging Florida's ban by changing the hearts and minds of your friends, neighbors, and communities.

Training participants will learn how to prepare and deliver short talks on gay adoption to local groups they are members of (PTA, etc.), have one-on-one conversations with non-LGBT people, conduct media interviews, and utilize other skills to educate the public and change people's hearts and minds on this critical issue.

There will be separate, age appropriate trainings for adults (ages 18 and up) and teens/tweens (ages 9 to 17). Family Equality Council will provide programming designed for children 2 to 8, which will be offered during the adult and teen/tween trainings. The children's programming focuses on celebrating LGBT and all loving families through arts & crafts, games, stories, and more!


Familyblendz has always believed that training was essential to transitioning minors. They are a delicate balance and therefore require a soft delicate introduction into a familyblend with a same-sex couple. Training is not so much for the couple, but definitely a necessity for the children in the "family-to-be".


Having been born and raised in Miami-Dade County until I moved away for a stint in the U.S. Navy, I applaud Miami in such a big way for opening the door to familyblendz by empowering them through this form of training. Love it, Love it, Love it.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Just A Concept?


Family was once denoted as a concept to anthropologist who believed familial relations were only bound by blood. Later to be understood as a framework for those who shared a common desire and an adopted bond with co-residence. The 'blood' bond, has now been ceded to a metaphorically imposed tone instead.


Today, we as familyblendz, are accomplishing the same goals literally as any other family. Once known and viewed as a source of procreation, families are known today to provide so much more. These terms were best defined well before what we call 'familyblendz' were as common as they are today.


So what do we do? Do we not bring definition to a common reality? Do my children's life lessons no longer matter because their parents don't look similar to what we view as traditional? Elle and I completely disagree. Our kids run, jump, and play; they enjoy their friends, their family time as well as their educational accomplishments as well. We have been extremely excited that our eldest daughter has been on Honor Roll for the last year and is currently on track to remain educationally lifted. We no longer defend our family values, but yet, we now only to define our values. As a family, we have decided to move from PRIDE to PROUD.

The religious left and conservative right, listen, folks that's all politics. No longer will we look on from the sidelines and hope for the best. There is an assault on our family and as parents, we will continue to speak out on behalf of the lively-hood of our kids just as any parent would. We were saddened to find that Arizona recently removed health care benefits from those whom they had just given them too. Thats politics. So we are pushing further than the political approach in order to get to substance.


We say it all the time, Elle and I don't want an ounce more than what is leveled. A leveled playing field and equality in the representation of our family. As I type this morning, our eldest is preparing for school and she interrupted me to ask, "daddy, so is someone going to pick me up from cheerleading practice today?" "Of course", I said. That's no concept friends.


Our special needs little boy is no concept and our three year old little girl is so proud she's finally mastered the potty..lol! From a distance, sure, this appears to be an experiment of sorts, but only if there could be cameras or flies on the wall in this house...lol. It's funny. It's a long road, but we will see you at the other end of the rainbow! Have a great day!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Arizona gives benefits & then TAKES THEM AWAY


In just weeks, hundreds of adult disabled children and domestic partners of Arizona state employees will lose health insurance coverage and other benefits as part of a budget bill passed over the summer. The new provision overrides a referendum that was voted down by Arizonians in the 2006 general election. Dude, this shit is wrong!


In August the state's legislature, which is dominated by social conservatives, passed a provision containing a more narrow definition of dependents for the purposes of determining benefit eligibility for state employees. The provision, which passed the legislature over the summer as part of a budget bill, specifies that benefits will be granted only to "a spouse, a child under the age of 19, or a child under the age of 23 who is a full-time student."


This new definition overturns an administrative order by former Governor Janet Napolitano (D) that allowed state employees who could prove at least a year-long "financial interdependence" to add dependent beneficiaries regardless of gender or age. For the record, former Governor Janet, is now in the Obama Administration. Anyone who falls outside of the new, more narrow definition, including adult-disabled children, full-time students between the ages of 23 and 25, opposite-sex domestic partners, and same-sex domestic partners, will become ineligible for dependent benefits. Don't want anyone to just run over that statement.


The new definition was hotly debated by the House Appropriations Committee in June and in August when it was redrafted and passed. There was even procedural wrangling over grandfathering benefits for those already on the rolls, but minority Democrats were outmaneuvered by majority Republicans. So they weren't even willing to let those who had benefits to keep them. Wrong as hell!


During a House Appropriations Committee hearing, Rep. John Kavanaugh (R) said if someone is still in school at the age of 23, he or she should get their own health insurance. Kavanagh told me Monday morning that adult disabled children should also not be on their parents' health insurance, saying, "Once they are adults, they need to buy their own policy. If they can't afford it, they can get Medicaid." When asked what they should do if they don't qualify for Medicaid and have pre-existing conditions that private insurance will not cover, Kavanagh responded, "I agree that needs to be reformed."


In 2006, Arizona voters became the first in the nation to vote against a ban on gay marriage. The referendum also would have blocked the state government from providing benefits for domestic partners of state employees. Donna Taylor, who stands to lose the benefits she receives through her partner of 26 years, says, "This went to the voters. They are overriding what the voters said."


"I think it's fair to say that there are many of my Republican colleagues at the Capitol who believe that domestic partner benefits support 'gay lifestyles' even though the facts are very clear that the majority of domestic partners who receive benefits around the state are straight and not gay," said state Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D). You see, in Arizona, the domestic partner law included both straight and gay couples.


Christina Vassett, who says she and her boyfriend choose an unmarried lifestyle because it is meaningful to them, asks "What would happen if the state said to married couples, we're not going to give your spouses health insurance? Are we just going to pick one sin?" adding, "It's even worse for same-sex couples because they can't get benefits unless they are married, but they don't have the choice to get married."


Governor Jan Brewer (R) signed the bill on September 4. Just days later, Brewer said in a speech that she often prays with her staffers about difficult issues like these, "And we stop, and we take that time, and we pray about it," explaining, "I firmly believe that God has placed me in this powerful position of Arizona's governor to help guide our state through the difficulty that we are currently facing."

Senate President Bob Burns (R) says the change in definition of "dependent" is important because the state is running a significant deficit. So, lets get this right, you're only taking the benefits away because you don't have any more money? These children will go back to Medicaid...and what form of currency are you using to pay for that?



According to the Department of Administration, the cost of providing health insurance to domestic partners ($3 million) is less than one half of one percent of the total cost ($625 million) of providing health insurance. Equality Arizona spokesperson Barbara says, "They have publicly couched this as part of the budget-saving measures. Of course it's not about the economics. It is absolutely targeting same-sex couples and cohabitating heterosexual couples."


When Napolitano gave domestic partners benefits, her Director of Administration Bill Bell said the state, especially universities, would save money because they would attract and retain better employees. But Senate Majority Whip Pamela Gorman (R) disputes that claim, "I haven't heard from any of those people saying they only work for Arizona for that reason."


Donna Taylor has been with her partner for more than a quarter of a century but will lose her insurance because she will no longer fit the definition. She has degenerative Rheumatoid arthritis and other related health problems. She takes 7 prescription medications; one costs $350. She says she will be able to get health insurance through one of her two jobs, but there will be a gap between policies for a couple of months, and she will not be able to afford her medications during that period.


"It is purposeful discrimination. It is unequal pay for equal work," says Sharon Keeler whose partner of 17 years will also lose benefits, "They purposely chose to take benefits away from people who work the same jobs as others because they are making a moral judgment."