Gay Men Better Parents than Straight Men Study finds

A new study will explore whether gay men respond to the challenge of parenting differently than straight men. According to San Francisco State University, the National Institutes of Heath has awarded Professor Colleen Hoff [pictured] a $275,000 grant to study how parenting impacts gay men's health. The two-year study will examine changes in gay dads' stress levels, lifestyle and health habits, relationship dynamics, peer networks and exposure to antigay discrimination.

"When parenting-related changes occur in the life of a gay man, the stakes are much higher since they are already disproportionately vulnerable to risks such as HIV, substance abuse and depression," said Hoff, professor of human sexuality studies and director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality.

The study will be the first to examine whether becoming a parent causes gay men to regulate their lifestyle in ways that protect them from risky behavior, or if the stress of parenting leads to increased health risks.

Nationwide, one in five gay male couples are raising children, and Hoff believes the trend to start families will grow as gay men and lesbians become more accepted by society and gain more legal rights.

"The results of this study will help public health practitioners and community groups to identify the gaps in support for gay parents and design interventions that promote healthy gay families and minimize health risks," said Hoff, a clinical psychologist who has worked extensively in the field of HIV prevention.

The study, which begins this fall, will be conducted by Hoff and David Huebner, associate professor of psychology at the University of Utah.

The Journey from Pride to Proud

I must admit this, until serval years ago, I had no idea about "Pride" and precisely what it meant. After coming out of a 15 year marriage that blessed me with 3 beautiful children, I finally allowed myself the thoughtful indulgences, mentally, that were always so taboo to have.

Still, Pride is not the first thing on my mind, nor is it even a goal on the horizon. The newness of life itself became a burden in and of itself. In my mind at least, life resembled a coin; depending on what side you looked at, it would determine exactly what you got. I'm sharing this because Pride is not something that is a given, but instead it is something thats worked for; an individual, personal process.

Unfortunately, for many of our gay family out there, gay pride is the only pride they have in their life. I used to say that the gay lifestyle was a miserable one! I'm not conceding that fact, but what I am saying is that when there is no other semblance of pride in your life, if this is all you got, then yeah, it's miserable. Once I learned that, Peace of mind became a heart of joy. The joy evolved into many things, i.e self worth, confidence, and PRIDE!

The pride that I had, - had nothing to do with sexual orientation, desire or gender. That kind of pride simply permits you to be happy with who you are; to treat yourself better and simply want better. All the relationships around me seemed to get easier to have when that kind of pride set in, even with my ex-wife. After I fought to raise my kids and move on, a contentment and comfort came over me, it was well.

Familyblendz simply represents the results of Pride. Same word, different tense, but there is a journey from Pride to Proud. If you take any shortcuts along the way, there will indeed be hell to pay...but at what cost?

Today, there's not so much Pride, but as I look back, I am more Proud of the trip that I have taken. Come on, of course there are and were speed bumps along the way. Will there be more? Um duh! Of course! What I care about today is providing for my family, my significant spouse, and living each moment God blesses us with to its fullness. Be proud about you...gay pride? Well, life is what you make it. Don't elevate lifestyle above life itself.

Lets Go!

Jodie: You're A Mess!

Jodie Foster's heart has been broken - and her pals say she's got only herself to blame. The mother of two is devastated that the woman for whom she dumped her longtime partner has rekindled a romance with an old flame. "Ironically, now it's Jodie who has been jilted," a longtime friend told The ENQUIRER. "She's miserable."

The two-time Oscar winner had met her new romantic interest, writer-producer Cindy Mort, while filming The Brave One in 2006. But now in a classic case of what goes around comes around, Cindy has reignited a romance with a previous gal pal, Amanda Demme, The ENQUIRER has learned.

Amanda is a well-known Hollywood club promoter and the widow of film director Ted Demme. She's also been romantically linked to Lindsay Lohan. Jodie, who often plays strong, self-assured women, fell apart at the news, disclosed the friend. "She was shell-shocked…" Now I wish I could say that's where the story ends...although it kinda does. The truth is, Jodie Foster's heart has been broken - and her pals say she's got only herself to blame.

The mother of two is devastated that the woman for whom she dumped her longtime partner has rekindled a romance with an old flame. "Ironically, now it's Jodie who has been jilted," a longtime friend told The ENQUIRER. "She's miserable."

The two-time Oscar winner had met her new romantic interest, writer-producer Cindy Mort, while filming The Brave One in 2006. But now in a classic case of what goes around comes around, Cindy has reignited a romance with a previous gal pal, Amanda Demme, The ENQUIRER has learned.

Amanda is a well-known Hollywood club promoter and the widow of film director Ted Demme. She's also been romantically linked to Lindsay Lohan. Jodie, who often plays strong, self-assured women, fell apart at the news, disclosed the friend. "She was shell-shocked…"

Same Sex Lesbian may lose custody to Partner

The one story that never gets told in the "gay marriage" debate is that of the marriage aftermath. After being married myself to a woman for 15yrs, we decided to split drama free! That took more communication and intense conversation; usually this requires much more than what was needed during the relationship itself.

However, whats never told is what happens when the gay marriage you fought so hard for simply fails? In February 2009, an "Ex-lesbian" continued to violate court orders regarding custody battle. Lesbian mom gets custody for five weeks in summer. The order was already several years old.

Lisa Miller continued to fight against her former civil partner over their young daughter. Miller went to Rutland Family Court and sought to eliminate or reduce the number of court-ordered visits her former civil-union partner has with her daughter, Isabella. Judge William Cohen denied that motion. Jenkins sought primary custody of the 6-year-old girl [pictured]. Cohen also denied that motion, but put Miller on notice that continued violation of court orders would put her custody in jeopardy. He also ordered Jenkins get custody of the child in Vermont for five weeks during the summer.

"At some point, Miss Miller's behavior is forcing a hand," Cohen said. Isabella was born in 2002, when Miller and Jenkins were still together. Since they split up in 2003, they have been locked in a custody battle. Jenkins lives in Fair Haven. Miller moved to Virginia, where state law specifically rejects the legitimacy of same-sex unions.

In court Wednesday, her attorney, Stephen Crampton, said she did not comply with Vermont court orders because she did not believe Virginia authorities would enforce them. Now my question is "why wouldn't they enforce them?" Equal means equal you guys. How can we convince the establishment that we are serious if they unfairly provide loop holes for us to forego our legal parental rights that we fight for?

The Story Continued.......

As of last this week, the saga continues. And why is that? well, no state wants to be the first to enforce a law which may get pushed to the Supreme Court and thereby set a precident for the nation. Whether you are for or against Gay Marriage, and I am not, the fight does not end with the right to be married, but it only begins when we have to determine how fair the nation has to be with blind justice in the aftermath.

Lisa Miller says that if she doesn't hand her daughter over to her former lesbian partner later this week, she may lose custody of her. Although Miller says she's turned straight, Vermont judge Richard Cohen has ruled that her former partner, Janet Jenkins, has visitation rights, and is the child's other parent.

In a recent interview, Miller said that during the latest status conference with Cohen, her attorney was told that the judge is fed up with her repeated disobedience to his visitation orders. "He said that there is going to be another visitation at the end of this month, and that if I do not give that visitation" he implied that "he would be forced to transfer custody at that time," said Miller.

Brad Pitt makes record donation for Gay Marriage Ban

Brad Pitt explores many topics in his new interview with Parade, but it's his stance on marriage equality that has our attention.

“I have love in my life, a soul mate–absolutely. When someone asked me why Angie and I don’t get married, I replied, ‘Maybe we’ll get married when it’s legal for everyone else.’ I stand by that, although I took a lot of flak for saying it–hate mail from religious groups. I believe everyone should have the same rights. They say gay marriage ruins families and hurts kids. Well, I’ve had the privilege of seeing my gay friends being parents and watching their kids grow up in a loving environment.”

On the right to love: “It’s ridiculous that Prop 8 took away gay people’s right to marry! I have no understanding of that kind of hatred. Maybe it’s fear of difference or of the unknown. If you feel belittled, maybe you need someone else to belittle to feel powerful. It’s the only way I know how to explain it. You’ve got religion telling you what to think about homosexuality, about marriage. They say homosexuality is a choice, a lifestyle, something you can be cured of, and that isn’t true. But if you’re tucked away and have no friends who are gay, you’ll believe what the preachers say. Just think of it in terms of being in love–how would you feel if someone told you that you couldn’t be with the person you loved?”

On wanting the best for his children: “Would it bother me if a child of mine turns out to be gay? No, not one bit. Listen, I want my kids to live the lives they want to live. I want them to be fulfilled. I hope I teach my kids to be who they really are.”

9/18/2008Brad Pitt donates $100,000 to fight same-sex marriage ban in California. Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to fight California's November ballot initiative that would overturn the State Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage.

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8," Pitt said Wednesday.

Trevor Neilson, Pitt's political and philanthropic adviser, told The Associated Press that Pitt was surprised that his colleagues in the entertainment industry had not donated more money to support the battle against Proposition 8.

...home of the brave...?

What rock have I been under? This was news to me; rather bad and distasteful news at that. A memo has been released by the United States Customs and Immigrations Service which suggests the year-long wait for the HIV travel ban may be nearly over.

The CIS's communication instructed employees working on green card applications that would be determined solely by the applicant's HIV status to wait until the expected change in immigration rules.

Currently HIV qualifies as an exclusionary communicable disease, and applications may be turned down by the US authorities if a person wishing to travel to the country, or settle there permanently, is HIV positive. Would hate to think we as Americans would permit a door such as this to be opened toward those who are looking to visit or nation. What's to stop the government from prohibiting citizens from traveling outside of America.

What is to stop other ally nations from prohibiting us as americans from traveling to tourist destinations and the like? This truly is not the way to go so I'm glad to know that this is not only under review, but is to be removed from the exclusionary list.

The policy was overturned last year in what became known as the Tom Lantos and Henry J. Hyde U.S. Global Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria Reauthorization Act of 2008, but the Bush administration did not enact the new rules before leaving office.
The Health and Human Services body published the regulations this summer, and is currently reviewing public comment.

Commentators have suggested that the pausing of green card applications which come down to the applicant's HIV status is a strong indicator that the rule change will be implemented soon, and that HIV will be removed from the list of exclusionary communicable diseases.

Vishel Trivedi of the Gay Men's Health Crisis said: "Once we’re confident that HHS will remove HIV from the list, we need to focus on more practical aspects of eliminating the vestiges of this discriminatory policy."

Europe and the UK currently have no rules restricting HIV-positive immigrants and visitors.