Halt Anti-Gay Campaign - KENYA

(IMPORTANT NOTE: SO MANY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS IN THE LGBT COMMUNITY, HOWEVER UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE FOR EQUALITY HAS MORE TO DO WITH OUR LIVELYHOOD, RESPECT AND RIGHTS AS HUMANS, MUCH LESS TO DO WITH MARRIAGE. DO LOSE THE "RIGHTS ARGUMENT" BY BEING DISTRACTED WITH MEDIA HYPE ON MARRIAGE). PEOPLE ARE DYING.

Protect Health Workers, Activists; Condemn Mob Violence, Incitements to Hate
-February 17, 2010

Kenya's government should act quickly to protect people accused of homosexual conduct and groups offering HIV/AIDS services from vigilante attacks, Human Rights Watch said today in a letter to Kenyan authorities.

The vigilante violence has hit Mtwapa, a coastal town northeast of Mombasa, in recent days and appears to be spreading to Mombasa and elsewhere. Human Rights Watch called on Kenya's government to speak out against the voices that incite hatred and foment the attacks.

"The government is sitting silent while mobs try to kill human rights defenders and assault people they suspect are gay," said Dipika Nath, researcher in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) rights program at Human Rights Watch. "Inaction is complicity, and silence can be lethal."

In late January, 2010, unsubstantiated rumors about a "gay wedding" scheduled for February 12 started circulating in Mtwapa, in Kilifi District. Local and national radio stations picked up the unconfirmed story. On February 7, several imams and muftis (Islamic scholars) told their congregations during Friday prayers to be vigilant and to "expose" homosexuals in Mtwapa.

On February 11, Sheikh Ali Hussein of the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya and Bishop Lawrence Chai of the National Council of Churches of Kenya held a news conference. As reported by Daily Nation and by other witnesses who have spoken to Human Rights Watch, the two religious leaders demanded an investigation of the Kenya Medical Research Institute (KEMRI), a government health center that provides HIV/AIDS services to the community. They criticized the government for "providing counselling services to these criminals" and demanded that the KEMRI office in Mtwapa be shut down, the reports said.

Local activists told Human Rights Watch that, in a statement after the meeting, the religious leaders promised to "flush out gays." The Daily Nation reported that Chai is the leader of a network called "Operation Gays Out," whose actual numbers and aims are not known.

On February 12, an armed mob of 200 to 300 people surrounded the KEMRI health center. Witnesses told Human Rights Watch that a man called "Faridi," an organizer of the mob, said a KEMRI staff member was homosexual because he wore a T-shirt promoting safer sex. In response, police who were at the scene took him and another KEMRI staffer into custody.

Earlier the same day, Faridi, with police, forcibly entered another private individual's home, claiming that the two people in the house were homosexual. Police took the two into custody, too. Local activists have informed Human Rights Watch that none of the men were charged and they have all since been released, and that the police were attempting to protect them from violence by taking them into custody.

The mob beat senseless another man who was approaching the health center and was about to set him on fire when the police arrived and took him into custody as well. Folks this is really happening on a governmental level with top officials sanctioning this.

A large crowd gathered outside the police station where the five were being held. A religious leader addressed the mob, saying all homosexuals should be driven out of Mtwapa, and another speaker encouraged the mob to not bother bringing homosexuals to the police but rather to take the law into its own hands, witnesses said. Other speakers said that homosexuals had appeared in Mtwapa when KEMRI opened its offices there. Smaller groups reportedly went to the homes of other people suspected of being gay and threatened them.

Local sources told Human Rights Watch that the mob attacks appeared planned rather than spontaneous. According to reports received by Human Rights Watch, none of the attackers have been arrested.

A mob attacked and severely beat up another KEMRI volunteer on February 13, and the police again took the victim into custody. The same day, a person was beaten up in Mombasa on suspicion of being gay, and a second person was attacked in Mombasa on February 16.

"The police need to arrest the attackers and put a halt to what appears to be a coordinated nationwide attack on people perceived to be homosexual," Nath said. "The disruption of lifesaving HIV/AIDS work could mean a public health catastrophe as well as a human rights disaster."

Although the declared reason for the six men's detention was to protect them, news reports said authorities asked the men to submit to forensic examinations to determine if they are homosexual. Five of them refused and the sixth consented and was examined, although no "evidence" of homosexuality is reported to have been found. Forensic medical examinations to "prove" homosexual conduct are archaic and discredited. If conducted without genuine consent, they may constitute torture or inhuman or degrading treatment, Human Rights Watch said.

Same Sex Divorce has to be just as Equal as Marrige

A same-sex couple who fought for the right to marry in Austin, Texas, now are split on the right to legally end their relationship, lawyers say.

Before we get further into this story, this is the same stuff I've been bringing to you and discussing for an entire year now. EQUALITY IS NOT A DAGGER WE CAN USE TO GET WHAT WE WANT AT ALL COST...ONLY THEN TO TURN OUR BACKS ON IT ALL TO GET OUT OF WHAT WE ONCE THOUGHT WE WANTED. It is a shame and it tharts the entire "equality" argument.

It says the GLBT Community will say and do just about anything to get what they want, i.e. Same Sex Marriage, Adoption Rights, Employer Benefits, Universal HealthCare and etc. It says the GLBT Community further confirms its opponents stance as unstable.

Five years after marrying in Massachusetts, Angelique Naylor's spouse is contesting the split, arguing that since Texas doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, the dissolution shouldn't be recognized either, KXAN-TV, Austin, reported. So now, it is apparently easier to use the states lack of equality for her benefit. Amazing!

"It's not about special rights," Naylor said of her desire to end the union. "It's about equal rights. I want my divorce like the 15 divorce cases that I witnessed today between men and women."

Anne Wynne, a family law expert and equal rights activist, said the decision Texas judges make in Naylor's case and others will have major repercussions for the state, the television station reported Thursday.

"It has huge implications," Wynne said. "It means they get treated like every other citizen in this state."

In a statement on Naylor's case, state Attorney General Greg Abbott said his office would be monitoring the proceedings and "if necessary, take appropriate steps to defend the Texas Constitution."

Since Texas doesn't recognize same-sex marriage or same-sex divorce, Abbott said the proper legal mechanism is "voidance," or voiding their out-of-state. How "equal" or fair is that to those who are not gay? Why don't we just permit everyone in the union to "void" out their responsibilities? This pushes the rights for gay adoption further into an abyss and therefore provides a shot in the arm for all GLBT adversaries. Amazing.

So now, will we finally have a real discussion on Equality? Can we now come to terms on how we need to grasp this message and use it for all americans, not just the gay citizens. Only then with this fight yield positive results both here and abroad.

Adultery still Illegal in New Hampshire After 200 years!

The original punishments — including standing on the gallows for an hour with a noose around the neck — have been softened to a $1,200 fine, yet some lawmakers think it’s time for the 200-year-old crime of adultery to come off New Hampshire’s books.

Seven months after the state approved gay marriage, lawmakers will consider easing government further from the bedroom with a bill to repeal the adultery law.
“We shouldn’t be regulating people’s sex lives and their love lives,” state Rep. Timothy Horrigan said. “This is one area the state government should stay out of people’s bedrooms.”

In June, lawmakers voted to legalize gay marriage — a law that takes effect Jan. 1.
“We shouldn’t be in the business of regulating what consenting adults do with each other,” Horrigan said.

Convicted adulterers years ago faced standing on the gallows, up to 39 lashes, a year in jail or a fine of 100 pounds. The punishment has been relaxed to a misdemeanor and a fine of up to $1,200 — with no jail time.

The high court found that the state had no legitimate interest justifying its intrusion into the personal and private lives of two gay men arrested in their bedroom during a police investigation in a weapons case. The men had been charged with sodomy.

Some recently questioned whether South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s admitted extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina made him subject to his state’s 1880 criminal law against adultery. The penalty is a fine of up to $500 and a year in jail. The state said it couldn’t waste limited money trying to prosecute Sanford on such a charge. The law’s constitutionality also has been questioned.

In the past, conservatives argued decriminalizing adultery would weaken marriage.
Kevin Smith, executive director of the conservative Cornerstone Policy Research, opposes this repeal effort for the same reason.

“Even though this criminal law probably is not enforced right now and probably has not been enforced for some time, I think it’s important to have a public policy statement that says generally or in all situations adultery is not a good thing. And I think, by repealing that statute, you’re essentially diminishing the harmful effects of adultery,” Smith said.

Horrigan doesn’t think a small fine will stop anyone from cheating on a spouse. He also wouldn’t oppose taking adultery out of the civil divorce statute as a cause for the breakdown.

“Who we love and how we love is not something, an area the state has much business meddling in,” he said. The original punishments — including standing on the gallows for an hour with a noose around the neck — have been softened to a $1,200 fine, yet some lawmakers think it’s time for the 200-year-old crime of adultery to come off New Hampshire’s books.

In June, lawmakers voted to legalize gay marriage — a law that takes effect Jan. 1.
“We shouldn’t be in the business of regulating what consenting adults do with each other,” Horrigan said.

The last attempts to repeal New Hampshire’s law came after a Merrimack husband filed a complaint against his wife and her boss in 1987. When police refused to pursue adultery charges, Robert Stackelback brought the complaint himself against the pair. He later dropped the charges.

Why Do Churches Care about Marriage Equality?

I am a 24-year-old straight single woman. If I were to get married in a courthouse, the church whose beliefs I ascribe to would call this a civil union and not a sacramental marriage. If I were then to obtain a legal divorce, my church would not recognize the dissolution of my marriage unless I obtained an annulment, thereby rendering any subsequent marriage an adultery in the eyes of God. I accept these things because I have chosen to abide by the rules of this faith.

What I don't understand is why we are fighting about same-sex marriage. If the government chooses to allow same-sex marriage, how does this make any difference in the eyes of the churches? They already can deny marriage to couples who don't choose to abide by their rules, and a lifting of a government ban won't change this First Amendment-protected right. The separation of church and state is a fundamental concept in the operation of our nation, but it's being overlooked here.

As to concerns about family values and moral corruption (which I won't comment on), aren't we as Christians (unfortunately, most of the group that is up in arms) called to love our neighbors -- everyone -- even if it's someone whose life choices we don't agree with? This battle is not one that should be fought on the national government scale.

We have more important things to worry about as a country -- like the extent of our foreign aid when there are millions in our own cities and rural areas in poverty without adequate housing, food or medical care. When we fight about issues like same-sex marriage, we are crippling the power of democracy, which we are so blessed to have. Let's stop being so selfish.

Jodi Dubyoski, Catonsville

Send your comments to talkback@baltimoresun.com.

Rhode Island Gov denies Gays funeral planning for loved ones

Governor Carcieri has vetoed a bill giving domestic partners the right to claim the bodies of — and make funeral arrangements for — their loved ones.

The only one of the dueling defense-of-marriage, same-sex marriage and gay-rights bills introduced in Rhode Island this year that cleared the General Assembly, the legislation was an outgrowth of the wrenching tale that Mark S. Goldberg told lawmakers about his months-long battle last fall to persuade state authorities to release to him the body of his partner of 17 years, Ron Hanby, for cremation.

“I felt as if I was treated not as a second-class citizen, but as a noncitizen,” Goldberg told the Senate Judiciary Committee last winter, because “we were not legally married or blood relatives.”

In his veto message, Republican Carcieri said: “This bill represents a disturbing trend over the past few years of the incremental erosion of the principles surrounding traditional marriage, which is not the preferred way to approach this issue.

“If the General Assembly believes it would like to address the issue of domestic partnerships, it should place the issue on the ballot and let the people of the State of Rhode Island decide,” he wrote.

He took issue with the definition of a domestic partner as “a person who, prior to the decedent’s death, was in an exclusive, intimate and committed relationship with the decedent” for at least a year, saying a year “is not a sufficient duration to establish a serious bond between two individuals ... [relative to] issues regarding funeral arrangements, burial rights and disposal of human remains.”

He also questioned “how it would be ascertained in many circumstances whether [a couple] had been in a relationship for year” since there is “no official or recognized form” of domestic partnership agreement in Rhode Island.

Coming on a day when he vetoed more than two dozen bills passed during the legislature’s hectic two-day special session in late October, the veto of this bill unleashed a torrent of anger from gay-rights advocates.

Describing himself as “genuinely upset” by Carcieri’s actions, the House sponsor, Rep. David Segal, D-Providence, said: “I think the man is heartless … [this] doesn’t change the definition of the word ‘marriage.’ ” (Sen. Rhoda Perry sponsored the matching Senate bill.)

“It is completely disgraceful that Governor Carcieri has chosen to ignore and devalue the committed relationships of same-sex couples in this state,” said Karen Loewy, a staff attorney for GLAD, the acronym for Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders. “Unconscionable,” echoed Kathy Kushnir, executive director of the advocacy group Marriage Equality of Rhode Island.

The Hearts and Minds brought their Vote

Washington State voters approved the new "everything but marriage" law, and made history by expanding rights for domestic partners and marking the first time any state’s voters have approved a gay equality measure at the ballot box.

The new law adds benefits, such as the right to use sick leave to care for a domestic partner, and rights related to adoption, child custody and child support.

During the campaign, opponents argued the law is a stepping-stone to gay marriage. Gay rights activists countered that while the marriage debate was for another day, same-sex couples need additional legal protections and rights in the meantime.

The measure asked voters to approve or reject the latest expansion of the state’s domestic partnership law, granting registered domestic partners additional state rights previously given only to married couples. Full-fledged gay marriage is still not allowed under Washington law. This is something that I have been saying for months to our fellow blended families;..."fight for the issues that concern you instead of the titles you wish to be known by..".

Gay equality laws in other states, ranging from civil rights to gay marriage, have either been implemented by the courts or legislative process (See Nov 4 blog post "Hearts and Minds"). Voters have rejected gay marriage 31 states, most recently in Maine, where voters repealed a gay marriage law on Tuesday.

The underlying domestic partnership law, which the Legislature passed in 2007, provided hospital visitation rights, the ability to authorize autopsies and organ donations, and inheritance rights when there is no will.

Last year, lawmakers expanded the law to give domestic partners standing under laws covering probate and trusts, community property and guardianship.

"Our state made history today," said Anne Levinson, chairwoman of Washington Families Standing Together, and she's right. Just yesterday we were tweeting about how these laws for equality have long been implemented by legislatures, but here in Washington state, the people brought their own votes to the ballot boxes because in their hearts and in their minds, they knew it was the right thing to do.

Washington state, along with California, Oregon, New Jersey, and the District of Columbia, have laws that either recognize civil unions or domestic partnerships that afford same-sex couples similar rights to marriage.

Same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa and Vermont, and will start in New Hampshire in January. What's important to note here also is that the voters in Washington had a reason to support this initiative that has not been on any other ballot in the nation; these domestic partnerships are also for heterosexuals as well as long as one partner is at least 62 years old. This helps those who are afraid of losing pensions and benefits if they legally remarry.

They brought in another demographic. Equality is not about leveling the playing field for gays, its simply about leveling the playing field for us all. You legislation has to include other demographics or the people of that state will never get behind it. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

Big Wins for Gays in Detroit, FL and N.C-Not much Media!

Maine voters may have chosen to take marriage rights away from their neighbors, but not all was gloomy for LGBTs: three wins around the country brought victory to gay and lesbian politicians and their constituents.

In Chapel Hill, N.C., GLBT equality advocate Mark Kleinschmidt won as mayor against Matt Czajkowski and two others contenders, taking 49% of the overall vote, reported the Chapel Hill News on Nov. 4. Kleinschmidt’s victory marks the third time an openly gay candidate has won Chapel Hill’s mayoral office.

In St. Petersburg, Fla., the city council gained a new, and openly gay, member in the person of Steve Kornell, who won over Angela Rouson for the council’s District 5 seat with nearly 60% of the vote, making him the city’s first openly gay elected official. The seat became available when Jamie Bennett resigned to pursue a spot in the mayoral race, which was won by Bill Foster, reported a Nov. 4 St. Petersburg Times article posted at TampaBay.com, which noted that the town’s leaders have historically been opposed to Pride events there.

The article quoted Kornell as saying, "The thing about making history is fine. But this campaign was really about the future of St. Petersburg and that’s what I plan to focus on for the next four years."

Said Rouson, "I have no regrets.... I am very proud and pleased and we worked very hard. I’m proud of the folks who worked for me. We fought a good fight. District 5 couldn’t have lost no matter what the results were."

Outgoing mayor Rick Baker praised both candidates, saying that Rouson "ran a great race. But the guy she ran against is a good guy and ran a great race, too. Nothing to be ashamed about."

And Detroit elected openly gay former Fox News reporter Charles Pugh as city council president, reported a Nov. 3 article at the Detroit Free Press.

Said Pugh, "This is unbelievable... It means Detroit has really wanted change for a very long time."

In other elections, Washington voters seemed poised to uphold state provisions for same-sex families granting most of the same state-level rights and protections enjoyed by married heterosexuals, but not calling such unions marriage.

Which Came First; Hearts & Minds or the Vote?

A Michigan City Commission originally approved the ordinance in late 2008 by a unanimous vote, but was challenged earlier by an opposition group seeking to overturn the 'equality ruling. Yesterday, November 3, the people of Michigan once again voted with their hearts and affirmed the earlier unanimous vote to save 'equality.

This pattern of events will sound very familiar to those who have followed the fight for equality at the municipal level. Similar ordinances were proposed in Montgomery County, Maryland and Gainesville, Florida over the last two years, evoking similar reactions from groups opposed to LGBT equality. Also very similar are the tactics those groups have adopted to preserve the ability to discriminate without consequence. In each case, opposition groups focused their attacks on the proposed gender identity protections, claiming that they would make it legal for male sexual predators to enter women’s public restrooms. In Kalamazoo, the opposition group Citizens Voting No stooped even lower, airing TV ads that mocked specific transgender women, using their photos without permission and repeatedly referring to them as men.

A deep and bitter disappointment however from Maine yesterday: Maine voters have passed a devastating Proposition 8-style measure overturning the state’s marriage equality law.

Our hearts are with everyone in Maine who fought so hard to win recognition for their families. The legislature passed marriage equality earlier this year, but a divisive anti-LGBT campaign to scare voters seems to have worked.

It is infuriating to see that the same fear-mongering ads that were used to pass Prop. 8 a year ago have triumphed again at the expense of so many. This is a terrible loss.

So although on one hand the fight for equality inches one step at a time, there will always be others to attempt to thawrt forward progress. Finally, what we love about this country is that the laws are made up "for the people...by the people", so even in our anger for Maine's overturning, "the people" of Maine spoke their minds through the power of their vote. As americans, we all bleed for that right; it is that right which rises to the surface like an umbrella to protect every other right.

As we now know, this fight is not about the power of the vote, but instead, the power to win hearts and minds. If we do that, the vote will take care of itself.

Census set to count Gays!

After working on a temporary basis for the Census Bureau back in early 2000,I understand the importance of being counted. Don't want to give you a "lesson" in government, ok, yes I do; the Census counts citizens in each district in the U.S. and reports those numbers to Congress. Why?

The numbers are reported so that Congress can "fairly" allocate appropriations (money) to the important things in thoee districts for those peopel WHO WERE COUNTED. So its important to fill that Census report out...its your money! Which is why it is extremely great news that the Census Bureau will now count same sex couples.

The U.S. Census Bureau is making an unprecedented effort to include same-sex couples in next year’s national population count, but legally married gay couples won’t show up as such in the official once-a-decade tally, bureau representatives said Thursday.

Statistical problems related to the development of the 2010 census form and the evolving legal state of same-sex relationships led Census officials to conclude that trying to include married gay couples in the overall snapshot of household marital status could yield an inaccurate number, said Gary Gates, a University of California, Los Angeles demographer who has been advising the bureau on gay issues.

Instead, same-sex married couples will be added into the category for unmarried partners, just as they were for the 2000 census. But in a marked policy departure, the agency plans to make the data on same-sex couples who described themselves as married available on a state-by-state basis.

Gates stressed that it was important for gay couples to participate in the census, noting that information drawn from the last one had been used in lawsuits dealing with same-sex marriage and to lobby congressional representatives who may wrongly assume they do not have many gay constituents.

Because same-sex marriages were not legal in any U.S. state a decade ago, the 2010 census is the first for which the bureau has wrestled with how to count married same-sex couples. In June, census officials announced that they would make the attempt, reversing an earlier decision made under the Bush administration.

Since then, however, it’s become clearer that a wildly inflated number could be produced if the number of heads of household who said they lived with another adult of the same sex, and described that person as a husband or wife, were only counted.

The annual American Community Survey the bureau produced for 2008, for example, had 150,000 married same-sex couples spread across every U.S. state, even though only two states - Massachusetts and for a 5-month period, California - allowed same-sex marriages. Gates estimates there are probably no more than 35,000 legally married gay couples in the country now.

Undercounting same-sex couples also remains a significant concern, Gates said, since some couples may not be living openly and fear discrimination.

Tim Olsen, assistant chief of the bureau’s field division, told gay community leaders "We have a big opportunity to create a picture of America that includes us. We are not invisible anymore," Olsen said.

This census marks the first time that gays and lesbians have been targeted for minority outreach efforts that also include reaching out to groups deemed "hard to reach" because of their disaffection with the government.

The gay community campaign will include a Web site, scheduled to go up in about two weeks, called Our Families Count, as well as advertising campaigns in cities with large gay populations. Among the video vignettes meant to demonstrate the nation’s diversity on the main census site is one featuring a transgender person, Olsen said.

You have to remember that every step towards this equality race counts. Don't just focus on Prop 8; This is not a one hit wonder.

Gay Adoption Seminar A Success!

Circle Surrogacy came to Atlanta today to put on what turned out to be a wonderful informational seminar for Same Sex (Gay) Adoptions and Surrogacy. A big thanks to all those who showed up and participated as well as the excellent panel which included John Weltman, the founder of Circle Surrogacy.

Although I'm not personally considering surrogacy or adoption, the opportunity presented itself as great source of information as well as a LGBT community resource for our social members as well other locally organizations.

Of which, I had the great pleasure of meeting up with Kathy Kelly, Executive Director of MEGA Family Project. MEGA (megafamilyproject.org) is known throughout Georgia for their education support, advocacy and LGBT family assistance. I encourage you all to get behind this organization as I intend to further support Kathy and her team. Great to meet wonderful folks like Fernando Rengifo "Fercho", also pictured above, which proves supportive networking and helping our own community is not just a desire, but a necessity.

Those in attendance received a great deal of information on Georgia adoptions as well as laws within the state concerning surrogacy. To my surprise there are no laws in the state of Georgia regarding the surrogacy, the highly expensive medical/legal procedure. For all those who could not be in attendance, look out for the video on Circle's Youtube Channel.

Thanks again to John, Nancy and Ron and the rest of "Circle" team for a great event.

Terminator didn't disappoint....well not completely!

Just when you thought the Terminator was done, Act 2 was set to begin, stage left. Seriously, The GOP governor of California vowed to ensure that the creation of a State holiday named for Harvey Milk, the first openly gay politician to be elected to office in California. Last year the Governor vetoed such a day and had threatened to do so gain this year.

Well he did it. Schwarzenegger signed into law a bill that will call on the state to do a few things so let me break it down for you! (ONE)Recognize the marriages of same-sex couples who were legally married in other states during the brief time that same-sex marriages were legal in California. So lets get this right, although same sex marriages are no longer legal in Cally, the Gov has made it possible to acknowledge marriages that took place in other states during the same time California allowed it.

(TWO)He also approved legislation to expand services for LGBT survivors of domestic violence. Now that's huge! State resources for the gay communnity that protects those involved in domestic violence, lol, and cat-fights.

Schwarzenegger did veto the "Equal ID Act," which would allow transgender individuals to obtain revised birth certificates certifying their current gender. But honestly, thats crazy anyway, but thats just me talking. He also vetoed a "LGBT Prisoner Safety Act," which would have called for gender identity and orientation to be considered when housing prisoners.

Supporters wanted to mark May 22 as an annual Harvey Milk Day. They had pinned their hopes on the attention garnered by the film "Milk" late last year after Schwarzenegger’s previous veto. But the governor countered Milk’s accomplishments were not well known enough outside the Bay Area to merit a holiday.

"The Harvey Milk Day bill marks the first time in the nation’s history that a state will officially recognize and celebrate the contributions of an openly LGBT person with an annual day of special significance," said Geoff Kors, executive director of Equality California. "Californians will now learn about Harvey’s amazing contributions to the advancement of civil rights for decades to come. He is a role model to millions, and this legislation will help ensure his legacy lives on forever."

Kors expressed gratitutde to the Governor for signing these measures into law "and rising above partisan politics to improve the lives of LGBT Californians."

"The Marriage Recognition and Family Protection Act" calls on the state to recognize same-sex marriages conducted in 2008 outside the state before voters enacted Proposition 8 ended marriage equality in California. Listen, thats huge. Let's not overlook the small accomplishments. This is a step-step process.

"When California offered marriage licenses to same-sex couples in 2008, spouses who were already married in another state or country were prohibited from re-marrying in California," said the bill’s author, Sen. Mark Leno (D-San Francisco). "Now those couples and their families are in limbo because their rights and protections under law are not clear. This new law will ensure that same-sex couples are protected by existing California law that recognizes all marriages equally, regardless of where they are performed."

Harvey Milk Day is largely ceremonial. State offices won’t close, although schools are encouraged to provide information about Milk on that day. More immediate and concrete results may be seen from the "LGBT Domestic Violence Programs Expansion Bill", which will fund LGBT-specific domestic violence programs throughout the state through a $23 fee tacked onto domestic partnership registrations. The bill also modifies the requirements funding seekers must meet.

"Given the shortage of adequate care for our community," said bill author Assemblyman John Pérez (D-Los Angeles), "I am thrilled that this legislation will help ensure that all LGBT survivors of domestic violence will have increased access to culturally competent care and resources."

Who is Defending Marriage? Anyone Defending Equality?

Interestingly enough, last night President Obama pledged to continue his stance to get DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act repealed on the floor of the U.S. Congress. I will continue to say that the president repeated that pledge with the largest gay rights organization in the country as his audience on the eve of todays Equality March taking place in D.C.

Problem with that stance, that pledge, is that it won't be that simple. Let me first take the stance I always take and that is this. Know exactly what it is you are fighting for. Are you more interested in calling your same sex relationship a "marriage" or are you more interested in having that relationship be treated fairly and respected because you possess the rights of a marriage?

We seem to get so lost in the titles that we miss the forest for the trees. It might just sound like symantecs to you, but it sounds the same way to the opposition as well. For example, DOMA, was signed into law back in 1996, when then President Bill Clinton sat in the Oval. Lets be clear about what exactly DOMA is. It a bill that DEFENDS THE DEFINITION OF WHAT A MARRIAGE IS IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

And that definition was signed into law by one our countries most famous democratic presidents. Why? Because by overwhelming majorities in the House and in the Senate, Congress wanted to define marriage to prevent states from peeling off with their own interpretations. Kinda like whats happening now.

So although Mr. Obama wants to repeal DOMA which would simply allow states to make their own choices, which is fine for us @ familyblendz;trying to get Congress to actually vote to change the definition of what a marriage is would be a death sentence to many democrats back home in their districts.

Back to my original point though. What stops Domestic Partnerships from providing the same rights of the same sex couples from mirroring those of hetero couples? What are you gaining other than a title? Do you gain nothing because you can't have it all? Do you continue to throw the babies out with the water just because you can't get the water as warm as you like it?

Remember, the fight we wage is for equality, not branding;it is for rights, not wants. This message never goes over well among my LGBT folks, however, call it what you like, but in the meantime, families are hurting, loved ones are being denied access and benefits to children are being taken away (Arizona's recent Equality repeal).

Defend Marriage all you want, I and the rest of familyblendz will defend equality!

FamilyBlendz Social Network: Gaining Momentum!

I cannot thank the many of you who have already expressed interest in the FamilyBlendz Social Network; a group of Same Sex Couples who are raising a family or has a desire to so. O ur first event was successful and turnout was amazing especially since most of our contacts were by word of mouth. Your help in building our Twitter following is another great way of getting the word out about this family oriented social network for what we believe has become America's new modern family; a new normal.


Knowing this however is not enough! We know how to showcase our PRIDE, but now as a true familyblendz, we need to show how PROUD we are by being the new face and examples that will be required to move forward. Everything we do and are makes us activists of the sort simply because everything we do the "live", is what the media calls "unpredented".


What you are doing today, has not been done, so this makes you and I and the rest of this new group the best blueprint for the agenda, the policy, as well as the followthrough for what is to come with America's equality. Who we are, is unprecedented. If you are able to help with some event planning and setup (minimal), please let me know. Our next get together will be a casual networking function, i.e. light and fun. As soon as we confirm the next venue, all of the information, (Date/Time) will be posted up. Contact me at: familyblendz@gmail.com or on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/familyblendz

My 14 year old Champion!

Looking to plan a birthday party for our oldest daughter next month. It will be her first birthday party in so many years. I think each year, we've wanted to plan one for her, but it just never seemed to pan out as we would have wished.

So this year, as she turns 14, wow, just to think of that, 14 years old, I think we've settled on a theme.....lol, I think. She wants a skating party at a rink with some friends from school. Elle and I are more inclined to just go along with that...I mean, she's got her own ideas of what she wants and how she wants to celebrate it so...I dunno.

Through it all, she's handled a lifetime of transition like a champion would. She's still 14 and very much still a child, but in so many ways her support for my happiness has been unconditional and full. We're still a month away from her birthday, but wanted to get a head start with some of the details to ensure we get it right!

3 States Look To Reverse Equality

Voters in three states will decide this fall on whether to reverse gay rights initiatives ranging from anti-discrimination measures to marriage benefits.

Maine - Voters will decide whether or not to uphold the state's legalization of same-sex marriage.

Washington state - A so-called "everything but marriage" law that expands the state's current domestic partnership law will be on the ballot.

Kalamazoo, Michigan - Voters will decide on an ordinance that prohibits discrimination against gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender individuals.

Washington state, along with California, Oregon, New Jersey, and the District of Columbia, have laws that either recognize civil unions or domestic partnerships that afford same-sex couples similar rights to marriage. While Maine and Washington state will get most of the focus in November's election, a gay rights ordinance in the southwestern Michigan city of Kalamazoo is getting national attention from groups on both sides as well.

The city's ordinance, which outlaws employment, housing and public-accommodation discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identification, took effect July 9 but was suspended once opponents turned in enough signed petitions to force a public vote.

Equality is truly under attack folks. As soon as you think progress is being made across the country...and it truly is, we begin to somehow back-tread over the steps we've just taken. Keep your eyes on these states as I will. But don't just stop there by looking, act on it. Just as Arizona recently reversed on its provision of state benefits to familyblendz (gay families), these 3 states are attempting to back-tread as well.

No one said this would be easy, but lets get this party started!

Will Gay Divorce Be As Equal As We Want Marriage To Be?

Okay now here is where I want us to educate ourselves on the whole same sex marriage thingy. It's like fighting for the right to vote, then having to force, pay and coherce the same man to now go and actually vote.

A Texas judge cleared the way for two Dallas men to get a divorce, ruling Thursday that Texas’ ban on same-sex marriage violates the constitutional guarantee to equal protection under the law.Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott said he’d appeal the ruling, which he labeled an attempt to strike down the ban approved by voters in 2005.

"The laws and constitution of the State of Texas define marriage as an institution involving one man and one woman," Abbott said in a written statement. "Today’s ruling purports to strike down that constitutional definition - despite the fact that it was recently adopted by 75 percent of Texas voters."Abbott has argued that because the state doesn’t recognize gay marriage, its courts can’t dissolve one through divorce.

District Judge Tena Callahan’s ruled Thursday, however, that the court "has jurisdiction to hear a suit for divorce filed by persons legally married in another jurisdiction."Jennifer Pizer, marriage project director for the New York-based gay rights group Lambda Legal, said it is too early to predict the ultimate implications of the lawsuit, in which neither man is identified.But Cathy Adams, president of the conservative Texas Eagle Forum, characterized the decision as a judicial overreach."

Judicial activism is what they’re after, and it sounds as if they found someone in Dallas to participate in their endeavor," she said. "The people of Texas have spoken very strongly in opposition to same-sex marriage."Peter Schulte, an attorney for the man who filed for divorce, told The Dallas Morning News that he and his client are "ecstatic" over the court’s ruling.

Schulte said the decision was a surprise, and that he hoped to have the judge sign a divorce order in a few weeks.Gov. Rick Perry said state lawmakers and voters have repeatedly affirmed marriage as being between a man and a woman."I believe the ruling is flawed and should be appealed," Perry said.

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas, said she also supports Abbott’s decision to appeal. Hutchison, who is challenging Perry in the GOP gubernatorial primary, said she has "consistently voted to preserve the sanctity of marriage and as governor I will continue to defend traditional marriage."

A phone message left by The Associated Press at court offices for Callahan was not immediately returned late Thursday. Callahan’s ruling was first reported in The Dallas Morning News.Pizer predicted an eventual end to bans on gay marriage in Texas and across the country."Most people do recognize that, eventually, American law will treat gays and lesbians the same as every other American," she said. "What we don’t know is how may chapters that story will be."

Your support of Prop 8 and Marriage Equality means nothing if we are only preparing for wonderful happily ever afters. Unfortunately that won't be the case, and with that Marriage Equality comes a different kind of Equal-ness at the time a marriage is dissolved. Lets make sure that we fight for the rules to change, so that those rules will not "include us", that we also don't work to change the rules to exclude us from the parts we don't like...that's not real equality.

Arizona gives benefits & then TAKES THEM AWAY

In just weeks, hundreds of adult disabled children and domestic partners of Arizona state employees will lose health insurance coverage and other benefits as part of a budget bill passed over the summer. The new provision overrides a referendum that was voted down by Arizonians in the 2006 general election. Dude, this shit is wrong!

In August the state's legislature, which is dominated by social conservatives, passed a provision containing a more narrow definition of dependents for the purposes of determining benefit eligibility for state employees. The provision, which passed the legislature over the summer as part of a budget bill, specifies that benefits will be granted only to "a spouse, a child under the age of 19, or a child under the age of 23 who is a full-time student."

This new definition overturns an administrative order by former Governor Janet Napolitano (D) that allowed state employees who could prove at least a year-long "financial interdependence" to add dependent beneficiaries regardless of gender or age. For the record, former Governor Janet, is now in the Obama Administration. Anyone who falls outside of the new, more narrow definition, including adult-disabled children, full-time students between the ages of 23 and 25, opposite-sex domestic partners, and same-sex domestic partners, will become ineligible for dependent benefits. Don't want anyone to just run over that statement.

The new definition was hotly debated by the House Appropriations Committee in June and in August when it was redrafted and passed. There was even procedural wrangling over grandfathering benefits for those already on the rolls, but minority Democrats were outmaneuvered by majority Republicans. So they weren't even willing to let those who had benefits to keep them. Wrong as hell!

During a House Appropriations Committee hearing, Rep. John Kavanaugh (R) said if someone is still in school at the age of 23, he or she should get their own health insurance. Kavanagh told me Monday morning that adult disabled children should also not be on their parents' health insurance, saying, "Once they are adults, they need to buy their own policy. If they can't afford it, they can get Medicaid." When asked what they should do if they don't qualify for Medicaid and have pre-existing conditions that private insurance will not cover, Kavanagh responded, "I agree that needs to be reformed."

In 2006, Arizona voters became the first in the nation to vote against a ban on gay marriage. The referendum also would have blocked the state government from providing benefits for domestic partners of state employees. Donna Taylor, who stands to lose the benefits she receives through her partner of 26 years, says, "This went to the voters. They are overriding what the voters said."

"I think it's fair to say that there are many of my Republican colleagues at the Capitol who believe that domestic partner benefits support 'gay lifestyles' even though the facts are very clear that the majority of domestic partners who receive benefits around the state are straight and not gay," said state Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D). You see, in Arizona, the domestic partner law included both straight and gay couples.

Christina Vassett, who says she and her boyfriend choose an unmarried lifestyle because it is meaningful to them, asks "What would happen if the state said to married couples, we're not going to give your spouses health insurance? Are we just going to pick one sin?" adding, "It's even worse for same-sex couples because they can't get benefits unless they are married, but they don't have the choice to get married."

Governor Jan Brewer (R) signed the bill on September 4. Just days later, Brewer said in a speech that she often prays with her staffers about difficult issues like these, "And we stop, and we take that time, and we pray about it," explaining, "I firmly believe that God has placed me in this powerful position of Arizona's governor to help guide our state through the difficulty that we are currently facing."

Senate President Bob Burns (R) says the change in definition of "dependent" is important because the state is running a significant deficit. So, lets get this right, you're only taking the benefits away because you don't have any more money? These children will go back to Medicaid...and what form of currency are you using to pay for that?

According to the Department of Administration, the cost of providing health insurance to domestic partners ($3 million) is less than one half of one percent of the total cost ($625 million) of providing health insurance. Equality Arizona spokesperson Barbara says, "They have publicly couched this as part of the budget-saving measures. Of course it's not about the economics. It is absolutely targeting same-sex couples and cohabitating heterosexual couples."

When Napolitano gave domestic partners benefits, her Director of Administration Bill Bell said the state, especially universities, would save money because they would attract and retain better employees. But Senate Majority Whip Pamela Gorman (R) disputes that claim, "I haven't heard from any of those people saying they only work for Arizona for that reason."

Donna Taylor has been with her partner for more than a quarter of a century but will lose her insurance because she will no longer fit the definition. She has degenerative Rheumatoid arthritis and other related health problems. She takes 7 prescription medications; one costs $350. She says she will be able to get health insurance through one of her two jobs, but there will be a gap between policies for a couple of months, and she will not be able to afford her medications during that period.

"It is purposeful discrimination. It is unequal pay for equal work," says Sharon Keeler whose partner of 17 years will also lose benefits, "They purposely chose to take benefits away from people who work the same jobs as others because they are making a moral judgment."

Gay Men Better Parents than Straight Men Study finds

A new study will explore whether gay men respond to the challenge of parenting differently than straight men. According to San Francisco State University, the National Institutes of Heath has awarded Professor Colleen Hoff [pictured] a $275,000 grant to study how parenting impacts gay men's health. The two-year study will examine changes in gay dads' stress levels, lifestyle and health habits, relationship dynamics, peer networks and exposure to antigay discrimination.

"When parenting-related changes occur in the life of a gay man, the stakes are much higher since they are already disproportionately vulnerable to risks such as HIV, substance abuse and depression," said Hoff, professor of human sexuality studies and director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality.

The study will be the first to examine whether becoming a parent causes gay men to regulate their lifestyle in ways that protect them from risky behavior, or if the stress of parenting leads to increased health risks.

Nationwide, one in five gay male couples are raising children, and Hoff believes the trend to start families will grow as gay men and lesbians become more accepted by society and gain more legal rights.

"The results of this study will help public health practitioners and community groups to identify the gaps in support for gay parents and design interventions that promote healthy gay families and minimize health risks," said Hoff, a clinical psychologist who has worked extensively in the field of HIV prevention.

The study, which begins this fall, will be conducted by Hoff and David Huebner, associate professor of psychology at the University of Utah.

Same Sex Lesbian may lose custody to Partner

The one story that never gets told in the "gay marriage" debate is that of the marriage aftermath. After being married myself to a woman for 15yrs, we decided to split drama free! That took more communication and intense conversation; usually this requires much more than what was needed during the relationship itself.

However, whats never told is what happens when the gay marriage you fought so hard for simply fails? In February 2009, an "Ex-lesbian" continued to violate court orders regarding custody battle. Lesbian mom gets custody for five weeks in summer. The order was already several years old.

Lisa Miller continued to fight against her former civil partner over their young daughter. Miller went to Rutland Family Court and sought to eliminate or reduce the number of court-ordered visits her former civil-union partner has with her daughter, Isabella. Judge William Cohen denied that motion. Jenkins sought primary custody of the 6-year-old girl [pictured]. Cohen also denied that motion, but put Miller on notice that continued violation of court orders would put her custody in jeopardy. He also ordered Jenkins get custody of the child in Vermont for five weeks during the summer.

"At some point, Miss Miller's behavior is forcing a hand," Cohen said. Isabella was born in 2002, when Miller and Jenkins were still together. Since they split up in 2003, they have been locked in a custody battle. Jenkins lives in Fair Haven. Miller moved to Virginia, where state law specifically rejects the legitimacy of same-sex unions.

In court Wednesday, her attorney, Stephen Crampton, said she did not comply with Vermont court orders because she did not believe Virginia authorities would enforce them. Now my question is "why wouldn't they enforce them?" Equal means equal you guys. How can we convince the establishment that we are serious if they unfairly provide loop holes for us to forego our legal parental rights that we fight for?

The Story Continued.......

As of last this week, the saga continues. And why is that? well, no state wants to be the first to enforce a law which may get pushed to the Supreme Court and thereby set a precident for the nation. Whether you are for or against Gay Marriage, and I am not, the fight does not end with the right to be married, but it only begins when we have to determine how fair the nation has to be with blind justice in the aftermath.

Lisa Miller says that if she doesn't hand her daughter over to her former lesbian partner later this week, she may lose custody of her. Although Miller says she's turned straight, Vermont judge Richard Cohen has ruled that her former partner, Janet Jenkins, has visitation rights, and is the child's other parent.

In a recent interview, Miller said that during the latest status conference with Cohen, her attorney was told that the judge is fed up with her repeated disobedience to his visitation orders. "He said that there is going to be another visitation at the end of this month, and that if I do not give that visitation" he implied that "he would be forced to transfer custody at that time," said Miller.

Brad Pitt makes record donation for Gay Marriage Ban

Brad Pitt explores many topics in his new interview with Parade, but it's his stance on marriage equality that has our attention.

“I have love in my life, a soul mate–absolutely. When someone asked me why Angie and I don’t get married, I replied, ‘Maybe we’ll get married when it’s legal for everyone else.’ I stand by that, although I took a lot of flak for saying it–hate mail from religious groups. I believe everyone should have the same rights. They say gay marriage ruins families and hurts kids. Well, I’ve had the privilege of seeing my gay friends being parents and watching their kids grow up in a loving environment.”

On the right to love: “It’s ridiculous that Prop 8 took away gay people’s right to marry! I have no understanding of that kind of hatred. Maybe it’s fear of difference or of the unknown. If you feel belittled, maybe you need someone else to belittle to feel powerful. It’s the only way I know how to explain it. You’ve got religion telling you what to think about homosexuality, about marriage. They say homosexuality is a choice, a lifestyle, something you can be cured of, and that isn’t true. But if you’re tucked away and have no friends who are gay, you’ll believe what the preachers say. Just think of it in terms of being in love–how would you feel if someone told you that you couldn’t be with the person you loved?”

On wanting the best for his children: “Would it bother me if a child of mine turns out to be gay? No, not one bit. Listen, I want my kids to live the lives they want to live. I want them to be fulfilled. I hope I teach my kids to be who they really are.”

9/18/2008Brad Pitt donates $100,000 to fight same-sex marriage ban in California. Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to fight California's November ballot initiative that would overturn the State Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage.

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8," Pitt said Wednesday.

Trevor Neilson, Pitt's political and philanthropic adviser, told The Associated Press that Pitt was surprised that his colleagues in the entertainment industry had not donated more money to support the battle against Proposition 8.