Marriage...not all its Cracked up to be? Divorce Equality?

You would think from listening to right wing pundits that gay marriage is key to the breakdown of America’s moral order. But, If statistics are to be believed, that threat to marriage comes more from the break-up of heterosexual unions since the introduction of no fault divorce in the 1970s. Today close to half of marriages in the United States end in divorce (with 20% occurring during the first five years). Marriage, it turns out, is its own worst enemy.

Only on our twitta postings, http://www.twitter.com/familyblendz have we been screaming to the top of our lungs about understanding what the real fight for equality is gearing up to be about...and its not marriage. Equality comes in a whole heap of dosages and marriage is just the pill, but legal separation, divorce, child custody and visitation represents that pill's jagged edges.

When Massachusetts approved gay marriage, that ruling came nearly six years ago, made gay divorce an inevitable progression from marriage, especially in the United States: gay divorce, yup-thats right!

While gay divorce statistics aren’t readily available, since gay marriage is still the flavor-flight of the day,the media coverage of same sex divorces leaves some wondering if this phenomena will be an additional argument for conservatives to use to deny equality.

Familyblendz.blogspot.com has been blasting this same point in defense of what will come from the right wing edges of the opposing views. Your distractions to push further into the marriage arguement will cause you to miss the next wave of the encroaching armies of disbelievers who just need one trending number of broken homes, disenfranchised minors and distorted lives. This will be the wind at their backs to continue to prevent equality in the homes of america.

What, though, is more pressing is the manner with which these divorces are handled across state lines, especially with most states not recognizing gay marriages in the first place.

First Comes Marriage...

Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same sex marriage, and in the first four years more than 10,000 marriages were performed for gay and lesbian couples. In the ensuing years a number of states approved gay marriage (New Hampshire, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Washington, D.C.); some approved then rescinded the decision (California, Maine); and a handful may not allow gay marriages to be performed within their borders, but recognize those from other states (New York, Rhode Island, and Maryland), While in California, following the passage of Proposition 8 in 2008, some 18,000 marriages (which took place over a short four-month window from June to November) are recognized by the state.

Back in 2004, there was early on a lot of uncertainty following the Massachusetts ruling. Ken Harvey, author of the upcoming book A Passionate Engagement: A Memoir, remembers what it was like to get engaged and planning a wedding following the legalization.

"Those six months were fairly uncertain whether people going to get married," explained Harvey. "It was a time of being hopeful but not wanting to get crushed."

Harvey got married in January 2005 during Martin Luther King Jr. weekend.

But what of gay divorce in Massachusetts? Do the numbers match the national rates? Some early statistics have come out that those states with legalized gay marriage also have a lower divorce rate than other states. Massachusetts alone is the state that has seen the fewest divorces occurring over the last few years. In fact the state had the lowest divorce rate in the nation in 2007, revealed a report from the Division of Vital Statistics last October.

According to the Washington Post, "Nearly 10,000 gay and lesbian couples married after the ruling. Massachusetts does not keep records on the number who have divorced, but lawyers who specialize in family cases say it is in the dozens."

However, making a blanket statement that legalizing same sex marriage will lower the divorce rate in that state is too soon.

"We only have data back to 2004; six years isn’t enough to tell," Dr. Joni Frater, co-author of "Love Her Right: The Married Man’s Guide to Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex."

Daniel Clement, a divorce lawyer practicing in New York City, also warns against putting too much faith in the statistics because lower divorce rates have been a trend across the board.

"In states with same sex marriage, divorce has declined. I can’t explain it," Clement said. "The divorce rate as a whole has been down the same time the economy tanked.

"The statistics are skewed. In our society people move a lot, particularly in this economy and need to change jobs and find jobs in different states," concurs Steven Knowles, of Knowles Collum LLP in California. 


While the states are still arguing whether or not to even allow gay couples to get married, the first wave of same sex couples looking to divorce are making their way to the courts. But with no federal ruling, the divorce proceedings for some couples have made national headlines that would normally not even be mentioned in newspapers.

When Julie and Hillary Goodridge, lead plaintiffs in Massachusett’s landmark gay marriage case, announced they were seeking a divorce in February, 2009, the media treated the news as if they were Hollywood celebrities on the skids.

In Texas, a case involving a couple looking to get divorced made headlines late last year when Judge Tena Callahan ruled that the divorce proceedings could continue in the state that doesn’t even recognize the marriage.

The case brings to light another issue that hasn’t been discussed quite as much. If a couple gets married and then moves to a state that has either banned or not yet ruled same sex marriage, the law doesn’t quite know how to handle those relationships.

"It’s cause and effect. One can’t be divorced if not married," explained Clement. "The truth of the matter is there will be gay divorce. Every relationship ends - either through death, hopefully at a ripe old age, or break up."

There are currently three types of states. First, states like Massachusetts where marriage is legal and therefore the right to get divorced is treated the same way as heterosexual marriages. Second, states like New York where same sex marriage is not legal, but they recognize the marriages from other states. In this case divorces are also treated the same as have always been. Third are states like California and Texas were same sex marriages are not legal or recognized. It’s in the last set of states that things are trickiest.

"Divorce laws have trailed so far behind," explains Kathryn Dickerson, a partner at SmolenPrevy in Virginia. "It’s not a top priority for some people. When you think about the number of gay couples divorcing, there’s other things the government is working on."

Because the laws have trailed behind, there are loopholes for people who want to get a divorce. One such loophole is at the center of the Miller-Jenkins custody battle currently unfolding in Virginia.

The couple had committed in a civil union eight years ago. But then Miller, the biological mother, denounced her sexuality and became a devout Baptist. In doing so she also moved to Virginia, a state that doesn’t recognize any same sex unions.

"In family law, the heart of the matter is child custody battles," said Glenn Sacks, National Executive Director of Fathers and Families. "All play out very similar to Miller-Jenkins. The only difference is Miller has found God and God hates gays."

What Lisa Miller did in the custody battle is something called forum shopping, which is currently allowed with all same sex marriage disputes. Forum shopping allows the person to find the place where the filer would have the most favorable results. As it currently stands, if someone in a marriage they can move to another state and establish residency to get the results they want.

"They shop for the proper forum. If one state is legal. Kind of like Miller did; it opens things up to legal shenanigans," explains Sacks.

Dianna Gould-Saltman, a partner at Gould-Saltman Law Offices in California, agrees that forum shopping opens the couple to play games with each other. " When only six states are giving [marriage equality], there’s always going to have one partner benefitting.

Another loophole that exists is if a couple moves to a state that doesn’t recognize their marriage, the couple is actually free to just break up and walk away as if they were never married. However, for couples who move to a non-recognizing state, there are some steps that can be done to keep some aspects legal. The couple could look into contractual rights, such as Marvin claims, which puts things in a contract to be followed.

"You have to prove there was a contract. Sex doesn’t matter," explains Knowles. "It doesn’t have to be written. It can be implied by conduct."

Conservative Field Day

With a few notable cases making their way through the court system, same sex divorce has been making headlines - mainly because not all states know how to handle them if marriage equality hasn’t been granted in that state.

With these early divorces making headlines, the conservatives opposing same sex marriage could go on the attack pointing out how quickly the marriages are being dissolved. But some warn that if any kind of campaign was to be started it would actually have a negative effect on the conservatives groups making the claim.

"No question it will be used against us," said Harvey. But he warns, "When the divorce rate is 50 percent, not a lot of finger wagging can be done." 


Didn’t work for Segregation

One thing that most people are in agreement about is that letting states decide how to handle the issue of legalizing same sex marriage is not the way to achieve anything.

"Leaving it up to the state is crap. It didn’t work for segregation," explained Esther Lastique, co-author of Lover her Right. "When left to their own devices, small minds have so much power."

Knowles agrees that the red states who adamantly oppose same sex marriage will not go willingly into accepting all types of marriages. But if the federal government steps in it would speed up the process.

"Ultimately, it will take action on the federal. The very red states are not going to partake in same sex marriage until they have to," Knowles opines.

With the piecemeal way that marriage equality has been being granted, there is still a lack of acceptance of marriage as an expected progression in life within the LGBT community. In heterosexual relationships, it is expected that marriage is the ultimate endgame for a couple at some point. However the same isn’t necessarily seen in gay community.

"Marriage in the heterosexual world is an expected marker of life. I don’t know if it is with same sex couples," said Harvey.

It’s an opinion that Knowles agrees with.

"In heterosexual couples, it’s expected to get married sooner or later. Not so much in gay relationships," Knowles said. "It’s not as inevitable."

Major fight for the rights of our U.S. Soldiers

A lesbian Air Force sergeant from Fairbanks who was outed by local police in Rapid City, S.D., has returned to Alaska, and the American Civil Liberties Union has launched a campaign to encourage Rapid City to apologize to her and compensate her, reports The Associated Press.

The Rapid City police chief says his officers acted appropriately. They spotted the marriage certificate when they showed up at Newsome's South Dakota home in November with an arrest warrant for her wife, who was wanted on theft charges in Fairbanks. Now, I'm sure that I am not the only person who watched our president announce at his last State of the Union as well in front of the Human Rights Campaign National Conference that we would no longer do this to our soldiers?

Looks like we're still doing it Mr. President. So lets get this right; Jene Newsome did not commit a crime, she performed honorably and because she was found to be gay, she was FIRED. Something is wrong with this situation.

Jene Newsome's honorable discharge [after nine years in the Air Force] under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy came after police officers saw an Iowa marriage certificate in her home and told officials at the nearby Ellsworth Air Force Base. The ACLU complaint claims the officers violated Newsome's privacy when they informed the military about her sexual orientation.

Folks, we have to remember what the "family" is for. We are here to bring this message of equality to all those who will listen and support those who are being disenfranchised. I hate to sound as if there are other options...because there are none. We speak out, live Outloud and stand together as a family. As a former military veteran myself, this is wrong. To think that someone can enter my home and without cause, notify my job to inform them of who joins me in my bed....exactly. UNFAIR.

Miss. Ends HIV Prisoner Segregation

The Mississippi Department of Corrections has agreed to stop segregating prisoners with HIV, ending a practice that ostracized inmates and prevented them from accessing resources available to other prisoners. According to a joint news release from the American Civil Liberties Union and Human Rights Watch, which advocated for the change, corrections commissioner Christopher Epps made the decision.

The move leaves Alabama and South Carolina as the only states that continue to segregate prisoners with HIV, a practice more common during the early days of the HIV epidemic. “Public and correctional health experts agree that there is no medical basis for segregating HIV-positive prisoners within correctional facilities or for limiting access to jobs, vocational training and educational programs available to others,” said the news release on Wednesday.

“Since 1987, however, MDOC has performed mandatory HIV tests on all prisoners entering the state prison system, and has permanently housed all male prisoners who test positive in a segregated unit at the Mississippi State Penitentiary, the state’s highest security prison. As a result, prisoners with HIV have been faced with unjustified isolation, exclusion and marginalization, and low-custody prisoners have been forced unnecessarily to serve their sentences in more violent, more expensive prisons.”

As you know, Familyblendz maintains a vigil on equality for all people, bound or free. My goal is to prevent anyone from having to place themselves in positions whereby others can further segregate them, malign them or worse, treat them unfairly.

The change means that HIV positive prisoners now can participate in training programs and jobs like kitchen work, and avoid public disclosure of HIV status that results from being housed in a separate unit. A desegregation policy will be phased in for prisoners currently in the separate HIV unit, and new prisoners will be incorporated into the general population immediately.

Halt Anti-Gay Campaign - KENYA

(IMPORTANT NOTE: SO MANY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS IN THE LGBT COMMUNITY, HOWEVER UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE FOR EQUALITY HAS MORE TO DO WITH OUR LIVELYHOOD, RESPECT AND RIGHTS AS HUMANS, MUCH LESS TO DO WITH MARRIAGE. DO LOSE THE "RIGHTS ARGUMENT" BY BEING DISTRACTED WITH MEDIA HYPE ON MARRIAGE). PEOPLE ARE DYING.

Protect Health Workers, Activists; Condemn Mob Violence, Incitements to Hate
-February 17, 2010

Kenya's government should act quickly to protect people accused of homosexual conduct and groups offering HIV/AIDS services from vigilante attacks, Human Rights Watch said today in a letter to Kenyan authorities.

The vigilante violence has hit Mtwapa, a coastal town northeast of Mombasa, in recent days and appears to be spreading to Mombasa and elsewhere. Human Rights Watch called on Kenya's government to speak out against the voices that incite hatred and foment the attacks.

"The government is sitting silent while mobs try to kill human rights defenders and assault people they suspect are gay," said Dipika Nath, researcher in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) rights program at Human Rights Watch. "Inaction is complicity, and silence can be lethal."

In late January, 2010, unsubstantiated rumors about a "gay wedding" scheduled for February 12 started circulating in Mtwapa, in Kilifi District. Local and national radio stations picked up the unconfirmed story. On February 7, several imams and muftis (Islamic scholars) told their congregations during Friday prayers to be vigilant and to "expose" homosexuals in Mtwapa.

On February 11, Sheikh Ali Hussein of the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya and Bishop Lawrence Chai of the National Council of Churches of Kenya held a news conference. As reported by Daily Nation and by other witnesses who have spoken to Human Rights Watch, the two religious leaders demanded an investigation of the Kenya Medical Research Institute (KEMRI), a government health center that provides HIV/AIDS services to the community. They criticized the government for "providing counselling services to these criminals" and demanded that the KEMRI office in Mtwapa be shut down, the reports said.

Local activists told Human Rights Watch that, in a statement after the meeting, the religious leaders promised to "flush out gays." The Daily Nation reported that Chai is the leader of a network called "Operation Gays Out," whose actual numbers and aims are not known.

On February 12, an armed mob of 200 to 300 people surrounded the KEMRI health center. Witnesses told Human Rights Watch that a man called "Faridi," an organizer of the mob, said a KEMRI staff member was homosexual because he wore a T-shirt promoting safer sex. In response, police who were at the scene took him and another KEMRI staffer into custody.

Earlier the same day, Faridi, with police, forcibly entered another private individual's home, claiming that the two people in the house were homosexual. Police took the two into custody, too. Local activists have informed Human Rights Watch that none of the men were charged and they have all since been released, and that the police were attempting to protect them from violence by taking them into custody.

The mob beat senseless another man who was approaching the health center and was about to set him on fire when the police arrived and took him into custody as well. Folks this is really happening on a governmental level with top officials sanctioning this.

A large crowd gathered outside the police station where the five were being held. A religious leader addressed the mob, saying all homosexuals should be driven out of Mtwapa, and another speaker encouraged the mob to not bother bringing homosexuals to the police but rather to take the law into its own hands, witnesses said. Other speakers said that homosexuals had appeared in Mtwapa when KEMRI opened its offices there. Smaller groups reportedly went to the homes of other people suspected of being gay and threatened them.

Local sources told Human Rights Watch that the mob attacks appeared planned rather than spontaneous. According to reports received by Human Rights Watch, none of the attackers have been arrested.

A mob attacked and severely beat up another KEMRI volunteer on February 13, and the police again took the victim into custody. The same day, a person was beaten up in Mombasa on suspicion of being gay, and a second person was attacked in Mombasa on February 16.

"The police need to arrest the attackers and put a halt to what appears to be a coordinated nationwide attack on people perceived to be homosexual," Nath said. "The disruption of lifesaving HIV/AIDS work could mean a public health catastrophe as well as a human rights disaster."

Although the declared reason for the six men's detention was to protect them, news reports said authorities asked the men to submit to forensic examinations to determine if they are homosexual. Five of them refused and the sixth consented and was examined, although no "evidence" of homosexuality is reported to have been found. Forensic medical examinations to "prove" homosexual conduct are archaic and discredited. If conducted without genuine consent, they may constitute torture or inhuman or degrading treatment, Human Rights Watch said.

What if Uganda's gay laws were presented in the U.S.?

Sometimes in order to better understand the plight of others, we tend to hae to walk a mile...well, you know. I can't help but wonder, would americans as a whole, not to mention the GLBT Community, would we care if it were our cross to bear?

Expected to be enacted on January 1,if you are gay in Uganda, it will serve as a death sentence or jail time because the act of being gay will then be considered a crime by one member of the same sex couple. SERIOUSLY, one of you would have to become the "perpetrator" and the other will have to become the "victim"...your choice. One of you will walk free, while the other will face jail time or death..your choice.

Julian Pepe is besieged and frightened after getting constant harassment from the Ugandan police, and verbal and physical attacks from some members of the public. Her 'crime'? She is a lesbian and activist struggling for the rights of hundreds of other lesbians and gays who are likely to face tough sentences, including execution, if a bill that is likely to turn into law sails through parliament.

The bill - introduced by parliamentarian David Bahati - would see gay men and lesbians sentenced to life imprisonment for having sex, and a death sentence for sex with minors. Anyone failing to report a homosexual act committed by others would face up to three years in jail.

What if YOU were taken off to jail just because you knew a same sex couple? What if you were sent to jail just because YOU KNEW OF such a couple? Would you care more?

She was recently arrested:'I asked them why I was under arrest but they replied that you people should die. One policewoman told me that she wished (former dictator Idi) Amin was still alive and that if it was so and he ordered the killing of gays and lesbians, she would participate in the firing squads,' the 29-year old told the German Press Agency DPA.

President Yoweri Musevenis government has drafted the tough anti-homosexual bill, which states that a person will be sentenced to life if he or she is convicted of using an object of sexual contraption to penetrate or stimulate a sexual organ or touches another with an intention of committing an act of homosexuality. What if vibrators were illegal? Would we care more that equality doesn't begin and end with "marriage"?

The death sentence would also be applied to anyone convicted of sex if the offender suffers from AIDS or if the victim of the act has physical or mental disabilities. The proposed law further penalizes the owners of the premises where homosexual acts are committed and allows for a sentence of seven years for one who is convicted of broadcasting, production and dissemination of pornographic material for purposes of promoting homosexuality.

People including relatives and friends sheltering gays and lesbians or failing to report them to the authorities also face jail terms of up to five years, the bill says.

Gays and lesbians there have been hiding their identities for decades for fear of social discrimination and harassment by the authorities but the number of openly-gay people is believed to be increasing.

'Homosexuality will not be encouraged in Uganda. This is our position', he told a recent news conference.

Meanwhile, a mass demonstration in favour of the new law is planned for Tuesday in Kampala, by the major evangelical Christian churches in Uganda.

Small Business revenue gains due to Equality agenda

We talk alot about how the GLBT Community stands to benefit from legislative pushes all across the nation, however, we often fail to find the importance in market shifts and expected gains from the hetero community as well.

Robin Sutliff's flower shop is redolent with the ingredients of a perfect wedding place setting: tall stands of white amaryllis, cala lilies imported from South America, summery clusters of yellow-orange orchids. When she imagines the many same-sex couples likely to tie the knot in the District this spring, though, her mind settles on the humble hyacinth.

"It's a pretty flower," said Sutliff, owner of Ultra Violet florist in Georgetown. "It smells good, and it's strong. It represents spring and new birth."

On Friday, December 18,Mayor Adrian M. Fenty (D) signed legislation to legalize same-sex marriage in the District, a move that is expected to be a financial boon for the city and for vendors such as Sutliff, who make much of their money on weddings but who have struggled during the recession. District officials surmise that the regional economy could reap up to $22 million over the next three years as couples from Washington and elsewhere take advantage of the new law, and the Williams Institute, a think tank at the University of California at Los Angeles, estimates that the infusion could be $52 million.

But the betrothed are not lining up quite yet. The law is subject to a 30-day review period by Congress, and opponents have taken their objections to court. Although many expect the bill to pass unhindered this spring, couples say the memory of California's Proposition 8 remains fresh in their minds. The 2008 voter-approved initiative banned same-sex marriage in the state after it had been legalized, a setback to many hopeful couples and a stunning reversal to those who thought gay marriage was on the path to mainstream acceptance.

"We're waiting to make sure that it makes the 30 days. We don't want to do too much dreaming," said Mike Giordano, 42, a social worker from Northwest Washington who expects to marry his longtime partner next year but has not made any plans.

Industry develops
Six years after Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage and long after same-sex commitment ceremonies have become routine, a robust industry has developed around what many say is a tradition that has special needs. Arlington County-based GayWeddings.com, for example, sells dual groom and dual bride cake tops. Wedding announcements available on Outvite.com include interlocking hearts fashioned to look like the symbol for female.

Both Web sites reported an uptick in traffic from Washington area customers in the past few weeks, and other vendors are expecting a significant increase in business this spring. Hotels such as the Kimpton chain, which is popular among gay travelers, are developing plans to heavily market their D.C. venues nationally as ideal for same-sex destination weddings.

"We're all ramping up in anticipation that this is going to be big for the wedding industry here," said Allison Britton, an Alexandria-based photographer.

This month, Britton attended a seminar in the District led by Boston-based wedding planner Bernadette Coveney Smith, a self-described gay wedding expert who has been planning same-sex nuptials since Massachusetts legalized them in 2003. The seminar attracted about 40 caterers, videographers and other vendors hoping to have the advantage when the expected marriage rush begins.

Among Coveney Smith's tips: Forget about the pink triangles and rainbow-hued Web sites that scream "gay." Those historically significant but dated images don't always appeal to modern couples, she said. A more subtle idea might be for photographers to consider sprinkling photos of a few same-sex couples in their portfolios. And words matter. For example, potential customers might be turned off if they are asked, "What are the names of the bride and groom?"

Coveney Smith said she is certain there will be a wedding rush in a couple of months, when the law could be officially on the books, just as the industry got a bump in Massachusetts, Connecticut and other states that have permitted same-sex unions. According to the Williams Institute, about 12,000 gay weddings took place in Massachusetts between 2004 and 2009, pumping more than $111 million into the state's economy.

Same Sex Divorce has to be just as Equal as Marrige

A same-sex couple who fought for the right to marry in Austin, Texas, now are split on the right to legally end their relationship, lawyers say.

Before we get further into this story, this is the same stuff I've been bringing to you and discussing for an entire year now. EQUALITY IS NOT A DAGGER WE CAN USE TO GET WHAT WE WANT AT ALL COST...ONLY THEN TO TURN OUR BACKS ON IT ALL TO GET OUT OF WHAT WE ONCE THOUGHT WE WANTED. It is a shame and it tharts the entire "equality" argument.

It says the GLBT Community will say and do just about anything to get what they want, i.e. Same Sex Marriage, Adoption Rights, Employer Benefits, Universal HealthCare and etc. It says the GLBT Community further confirms its opponents stance as unstable.

Five years after marrying in Massachusetts, Angelique Naylor's spouse is contesting the split, arguing that since Texas doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, the dissolution shouldn't be recognized either, KXAN-TV, Austin, reported. So now, it is apparently easier to use the states lack of equality for her benefit. Amazing!

"It's not about special rights," Naylor said of her desire to end the union. "It's about equal rights. I want my divorce like the 15 divorce cases that I witnessed today between men and women."

Anne Wynne, a family law expert and equal rights activist, said the decision Texas judges make in Naylor's case and others will have major repercussions for the state, the television station reported Thursday.

"It has huge implications," Wynne said. "It means they get treated like every other citizen in this state."

In a statement on Naylor's case, state Attorney General Greg Abbott said his office would be monitoring the proceedings and "if necessary, take appropriate steps to defend the Texas Constitution."

Since Texas doesn't recognize same-sex marriage or same-sex divorce, Abbott said the proper legal mechanism is "voidance," or voiding their out-of-state. How "equal" or fair is that to those who are not gay? Why don't we just permit everyone in the union to "void" out their responsibilities? This pushes the rights for gay adoption further into an abyss and therefore provides a shot in the arm for all GLBT adversaries. Amazing.

So now, will we finally have a real discussion on Equality? Can we now come to terms on how we need to grasp this message and use it for all americans, not just the gay citizens. Only then with this fight yield positive results both here and abroad.

Uganda is sanctioning gay genocide: Jail time and Death for being Gay!

Consensual homosexual acts between adults are still illegal in as many as 70 countries. Most countries have moved to a liberalisation of those unjust and repressive laws. In Uganda, however, the Hon David Bahati has sponsored an anti-homosexuality bill far more draconian than the already existing code. It begins with principles and threats: the value of traditional family values, the threat of homosexual infection.

The logic of the bill is this: "This legislation further recognizes the fact that same sex attraction is not an innate and immutable characteristic." But only if sexual orientation is voluntary can a person be held accountable for his or her choice. Science has concluded that sexual orientation is a core personality trait, not a choice. You no more choose to be gay or bisexual than you choose to be left-handed or ambidextrous; it's a morally neutral position.

Category mistake
Sexual expression and behaviour, however, is cultural and psychological, just like the expression of many other core personality traits. Innate traits express themselves in a multitude of ways, depending on the psychological, cultural and political environment. Cultures, like people, can be alcoholic (Soviet Russia), homosexual (ancient Greece), conformist or liberal, creative or stifling. Knowingly or unknowingly, homophobic governments make the category mistake of confusing core personality with cultural expression, criminalising, in the process, a fairly stable and substantial minority of any given population.

In this case, Bahati wants to get rid of those pesky "sexual rights activists seeking to impose their values of sexual promiscuity", as well as gay pornographers and paedophiles. There is no distinction in his mind between people who fall in love with people of their own gender, and sexual sleaze and crime: it's all a filthy mess of HIV, pornography, western values, decadence, feminism and predation. The draft bill separates "the offence of homosexuality" from "aggravated homosexuality". The former is consensual but the bill addresses only the "offender", as though in gay relationships there is only ever a perpetrator and a victim:

(1) a person commits the offence of homosexuality if
(a) he penetrates the anus or mouth of another person of the same sex with his penis or any other sexual contraption;
(b) he or she uses any object of sexual contraption to penetrate or stimulate sexual organ of a person of the same sex;
(c) he or she touches another person with the intention of committing . . . homosexuality.
(2) a person who commits an offence under this section shall be liable on conviction to imprisonment for life.

The second, more serious offence of "aggravated homosexuality" turns on the notion of the "serial offender", defined in the introduction to the law as "a person who has previous convictions of the offence of homosexuality or related offences." Anyone who is a confirmed gay man or lesbian and already has a sexual history faces the death penalty, alongside homosexual rapists and child abusers.

This is how the law will work: victims are not to be penalised; they are to be assisted, and their identities protected. Judges may order that the offender has to pay them compensation. In addition, "aiding", "abetting" or "promoting" homosexuality becomes illegal. Perhaps, most importantly, failure to inform the authorities, within 24 hours, of suspected homosexuals is criminalised. The Ugandan people must turn informants - or risk jail. Lovers must choose between "victim" or "offender"; the former protected and paid, the latter imprisoned or killed.

A culture of violence
Criminalisation of homosexuals in Britain led to blackmail, prison sentences, hormonal "treatments", suicides, sexual repression and ruined lives. The Ugandan bill, however, like the Nazi laws before it, makes homosexuality punishable, ultimately, by death.

A decade ago, I visited the vast refugee camps in the north of Uganda. The Lord's Resistance Army had been conducting murderous raids from their camps in Southern Sudan, abducting children. The abducted boys, brutalised and drugged, became soldiers; the girls were kept as slaves. I remember the fixed smiles of the girls who had managed to escape from captivity. I remember their drawings of killings and death. Sexual violence is everywhere in Uganda. This bill, too, is part of that culture. And what is the death penalty for homosexuality if not sexual murder? The state that sets out to purge the nation of homosexuality becomes, in the end, itself a sexual predator.

Nation's First Gay Mayor Elected in Major U.S City!

The landmark election Saturday of America's first big-city lesbian mayor in Houston represents more than just a milestone in identity politics.

It also signals an unmistakable evolutionary step in national politics, one that provides further evidence of a trend that helped make Barack Obama president: growth-oriented communities like the Texas metropolis, rather than aging big cities or nostalgia-inducing small towns, are setting the course of the country's political direction.

Houston is one of a set of fast-growing cities and expanding suburbs whose changing face and increasingly post-racial politics played a pivotal role in sending Obama to the White House. Their politics are defined by some of the same trends—notably, growing Hispanic and Asian populations and the rise of the service sector—that are shaping the nation as a whole.

But the election of Annise Parker in Houston makes clear that the Charlottes and Houstons are now at the forefront of American political change, while the shrinking and declining big cities of the Northeast and Rust Belt are bringing up the rear.

Other well known residents of Houston; not to mention, former Presidnet George H.W. Bush, and Barbara Bush participated in this weeks pivital election. Houston has already shown signs of a recognizable political shift. While the political math of deep-red Texas denied Houston a presidential visit, Obama’s campaign focused on similarly situated cities—places like Las Vegas, a hub of his Western campaign, with late-in-campaign stops added for Orlando, Fla., the Northern Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C., Indianapolis and the Research Triangle of North Carolina.

"As people become more comfortable with ethnic diversity they also become more comfortable with sexual diversity," said Stephen Klineberg, a professor of Sociology at Rice University.

That tolerance, he noted, isn’t equivalent to across-the-board social liberalism. His research has found a dramatic increase in tolerance of homosexuality over the last decade in Houston even as the view that abortion is “immoral” grew slightly more widespread.

Yet the election of an out lesbian who made her name initially as a gay-rights activist, one who embraced her partner on stage on election night, nevertheless reveals a breakthrough in the country's march toward what could be called either tolerance or just plain apathy toward homosexuality.

Indeed, save for an 11th-hour flurry of mailers paid for by allies of Parker's opponent, Gene Locke, her sexual orientation mattered little in a race dominated by conventional municipal issues such as crime, jobs and education. What was remarkable about the contest was just how unremarkable the voters found it that Parker was a lesbian. And that's the equality we're always talking about. Nothing extra, just equal.

Why Do Churches Care about Marriage Equality?

I am a 24-year-old straight single woman. If I were to get married in a courthouse, the church whose beliefs I ascribe to would call this a civil union and not a sacramental marriage. If I were then to obtain a legal divorce, my church would not recognize the dissolution of my marriage unless I obtained an annulment, thereby rendering any subsequent marriage an adultery in the eyes of God. I accept these things because I have chosen to abide by the rules of this faith.

What I don't understand is why we are fighting about same-sex marriage. If the government chooses to allow same-sex marriage, how does this make any difference in the eyes of the churches? They already can deny marriage to couples who don't choose to abide by their rules, and a lifting of a government ban won't change this First Amendment-protected right. The separation of church and state is a fundamental concept in the operation of our nation, but it's being overlooked here.

As to concerns about family values and moral corruption (which I won't comment on), aren't we as Christians (unfortunately, most of the group that is up in arms) called to love our neighbors -- everyone -- even if it's someone whose life choices we don't agree with? This battle is not one that should be fought on the national government scale.

We have more important things to worry about as a country -- like the extent of our foreign aid when there are millions in our own cities and rural areas in poverty without adequate housing, food or medical care. When we fight about issues like same-sex marriage, we are crippling the power of democracy, which we are so blessed to have. Let's stop being so selfish.

Jodi Dubyoski, Catonsville

Send your comments to talkback@baltimoresun.com.

First Domestic Partnership Marriage in Protest!

A heterosexual UK couple have given only their initials to the council registrars at Islington Town Hall in hopes that they'll be able to enter into a civil parttnership, the Daily Mail reports:

"Tom Freeman and Katherine Doyle, both 25, are determined to become the first straight couple to wed in a civil partnership. The pair last night branded marriage 'an apartheid' that segregates straight and gay people. The civil servants, who live in Holloway, north London, and have been together nearly four years, said they want the same legal rights as a husband and wife. But they do not want to enter an institution that is closed to homosexuals.

So, in the interests of equality, they are demanding that they be allowed to enter a civil partnership. Mr Freeman said: 'Ideally we'd have the option of a civil partnership or a marriage, regardless of whether we were straight or gay.

Effectively marriage and civil partnerships are exactly the same - it's a duplicate law. The effects and legal processes are identical. The rights and obligations are identical.' He added: 'Civil partnerships are equality in all but name - so why not just have equality?"

UK activist Peter Tatchell is on board: "The ban on heterosexual civil partnerships is heterophobic. It is discriminatory and offensive. I want to see it ended so that straight couples like Tom and Katherine can have the option of a civil partnership. I applaud their challenge to this unjust law."

US school cancels prom after lesbian asks to invite girlfriend

An Alabama school has cancelled its prom because one of the organisers, a lesbian student, asked permission to bring her girlfriend.

Cynthia Stewart, a 17-year-old junior at Tharptown High School, had raised over $200 dollars personally for the event and had thought of the theme.

However, when she asked the school principal if her girlfriend could attend the prom, her request was denied. Stewart was also made to remove a sticker which said “I am a lesbian” and told she did not have much free speech at school.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has now taken up her case, demanding that Franklin County School System officials reverse the decision.

A letter sent from the organisation to the school also pointed out that officials had violated Stewart's First Amendment rights by asking her to remove her sticker.

Some teachers told classes last Thursday that prom was being cancelled altogether as a way to avoid having to Stewart attend with her girlfriend.

Finally, at least one teacher made statements to students on Monday indicating that the prom is back on, but there has still been no reversal on the decision about Stewart.

(Let me first say, I love the work that the ACLU does on behalf of ensuring equality. I preface with that because there are also many times where our efforts to be "fair" to one person or group may infact infringe upon the rights of others. Why did it have to be a major issue who this young lady brought to the prom? I didn't take a girl to my senior prom, but I didn't advertise it either. No one would have denied this young lady admittance if she showed up with another young lady on the night of the event...we have a responsibility in our quest for equality to be fair to those who just don't get it").
The student said: "I can't believe my school is doing all of this just to keep me from bringing my girlfriend to the prom.

"All I want is to be able to be myself and go to my prom with the person I love, just like any other student wants to do."

The ACLU has given school officials until November 20th to respond to the letter.

Should faith based organizations be required to render services outside of their faith?

Gay Marriage is heating up as well as fizzling all at the same time all over the country, actually. In Washington, D.C., if you didn't get the tweet earlier (twitter.com/familyblendz), the city council wanted to "broaden" an exemption that would protect businesses and organizations from discriminatory lawsuits filed by same sex couples for being denied business services.

One Councilmember, Yvette Alexander, wanted to go even further and prevent lawsuits toward individuals from same sex couples as well. But an attempt by those opposed to gay marriage to broaden those exceptions outside the church community has garnered meager council support. Alexander was rejected.

“Just as we’re protecting large institutions, we should ensure that individuals can be afforded the same liberties and protections,” said Alexander, who cast the five-member committee’s lone “no” vote, citing her ward’s “overwhelming” opposition to same-sex marriage.

The legislation to expand the provision was adopted Tuesday by the D.C. Council’s judiciary committee, provides that any religious society can deny a gay couple services, facilities, goods or accommodations related to their wedding without fear of liability.

Listen, my view on this is simple, regardless of my sexual preferences, life preferences, preferences, if you don't want to serve me, if you don't want my money because you think your religous beliefs are compromised? Ok. Familyblendz is always in support of policy that protects everybody. What I mean by that is this;how many people didn't want to serve muslims right after 9-11? Your fear caused that reaction. With Education, awareness, our perception of that changed.

As long as we are not saying that someone can just look at me and decide, "he must be gay, so um not going render my business services to him", as long as we are not condoning and making provision for discrimination in our governing, I'm okay with it.

If my desire to get married, affects your beliefs in your small bridal business, you should be required to inform me of that, and further, I should be required to accept that you are not comfortable with that. Come on guys, its not that hard to understand that everyone is not in support of our lifestyle. Their lack of support, I can live with, their discriminatory acts towards me and my family;I cannot accept.

“That shield of course would be an invitation to act on that discriminatory impulse,” said Ward 3 Councilwoman Mary Cheh.

In Bernalillo County, N.M., in 2006, photographer Elaine Huguenin refused to provide services for a gay couple’s commitment ceremony, citing her religious beliefs. The couple filed a sexual orientation discrimination complaint. The New Mexico Commission on Human Rights, after investigating, found the complaint justified and ordered Huguenin to pay attorney’s fees totaling $6,637.94.

The photographer has appealed to New Mexico’s 2nd District court. The lawsuit threatens to affect gay marriages, and who must participate in them, if it reaches the U.S. Supreme Court — where Huguenin’s lawyers have promised to take it.

Opponents of D.C.’s gay marriage bill argue the religious liberty exemption is too narrow. The Washington Archdiocese, for example, said in a statement that the legislation “leaves religious organizations and individuals at risk for adhering to the teachings of their faith.”

But the Rev. Dennis Wiley, pastor of D.C.’s Covenant Baptist Church and a gay marriage supporter, said the bill “clearly protects clergy who disagree with me about marriage equality while also standing by the tenants of inclusion” that the District is known for.

Gay Rights Gone Global

Last December, something truly historic happened. Sixty-six countries signed a United Nations’ statement calling for the universal decriminalization of homosexuality and condemning homophobic discrimination and violence. This was the first time the U.N. General Assembly had ever considered the issue of LGBT human rights.

In almost every country on earth, there are LGBT freedom movements — some open, others clandestine. For the first time ever, countries like the Philippines, Estonia, Lebanon, Columbia, Russia, Sri Lanka and China are hosting LGBT conferences and Pridecelebrations.

But, that about sums up all the good news of this posting. It gets pretty graphic from here on out, but its something we need to educate each other on. A new bill before the Ugandan parliament proposes the death penalty for “aggravated homosexuality” and “serial offenders.” A sentence of life imprisonment will be imposed for touching a person with homosexual intent. Membership in gay organizations, advocacy of gay human rights and the provision of condoms or safer sex advice to gay people will result in seven years jail for “promoting” homosexuality.

Failing to report violators to the police within 24 hours would incur three years behind bars. The new legislation will also apply to Ugandans who commit these "crimes" while living abroad, in countries where such behavior is not a criminal offense.

Over the last few years, Uganda has stepped up its victimization of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people, often at the behest of Christian leaders who are aided and funded by right-wing evangelical churches in the U.S.

Typical is the fate of gay rights activist Kizza Musinguzi. He was jailed in 2004 and subjected to four months of forced labor, water torture, beatings and rape. Any Ugandan who speaks out against anti-gay violence faces dire consequences. A heterosexual Anglican bishop, Christopher Ssenyonjo, was expelled from the Church of Uganda for defending the human rights of LGBT people.

In recent years, the Ugandan government has passed a law banning same-sex marriage, fined Radio Simba for broadcasting a discussion of LGBT issues and expelled a UNAIDS agency director for meeting with gay campaigners.

Similar homophobic persecution is happening elsewhere in Africa, from Nigeria to Cameroon, Burundi, Rwanda and Gambia, where President Yahya Jammeh has called for sexual cleansing. He has promised "stricter laws than Iran" on homosexuality, and has begun his witch-hunt by ordering LGBT people to leave the country and threatening to "cut off the head" of any homosexual who remains.

One hindrance to LGBT rights is that there is no international human rights convention specifically acknowledges sexual rights as human rights. None explicitly guarantee equality and non-discrimination to LGBT people. The right to love a person of one’s choice is wholly absent from global humanitarian statutes. Relationships between partners of the same sex is not specifically recognized in any international law. There is nothing in any of the many U.N. conventions that explicitly prohibits homophobic discrimination and protects LGBT people.

Of the 192 member states of the U.N., only a handful come close to giving full equality and protection against discrimination to LGBT people: the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, France, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Canada, New Zealand and the U.K.

In much of the world, homophobia is still rampant. About 80 countries continue to outlaw homosexuality, with penalties ranging from one year’s jail to life imprisonment. More than half of these countries were former British colonies. Their anti-gay laws were originally imposed by the British in the 19th century, during the period of colonial rule. These homophobic laws, which were retained after independence, are wrecking the lives of LGBT people.

In the new post-Saddam Hussein “democratic” Iraq, people who murder LGBTs to defend the “honor” of their family invariably escape punishment. The rise of Islamist fundamentalism has led to the creeping, de facto imposition of Shariah law, with deadly consequences for LGBTs and for women who refuse to be veiled. The U.S. and U.K.-backed Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani has issued a fatwa calling for the execution of lesbians and gays in the “worst, most severe way possible.” Islamist death squads of the Badr and Sadr militias are assassinating LGBT people with impunity.

Russian religious leaders have united to orchestrate hatred against the LGBT community. The Orthodox Church has denounced homosexuality as a "sin which destroys human beings and condemns them to a spiritual death." The Chief Mufti of Russia 's Muslims, Talgat Tajuddin, says gay campaigners “should be bashed … . Sexual minorities have no rights, because they have crossed the line. Alternative sexuality is a crime against God.” Russian Chief Rabbi, Berl Lazar, has condemned gay pride parades as “a blow for morality," adding that there is no right to “sexual perversions."

The Iranian persecution of LGBTs continues unabated. Twenty-two-year-old Amir was entrapped via a gay dating website. The person he arranged to meet turned out to be a member of the morality police. Amir was jailed, tortured and sentenced to 100 lashes, which caused him to lose consciousness and left his whole back covered in huge bloody welts.

The Western-backed regime in Saudi Arabia retains the death penalty (usually beheading) for homosexuality. In early 2006, its neighbor, the United Arab Emirates, imposed six years jail on 11 gay men arrested at a private party. They were not imprisoned for sexual acts, but merely for being gay and attending a gay social gathering.

Gay Rights Movement Needs Own Voice

The LGBTI movement, which has been gaining momentum since the early ’80s, could very well seem to be the civil rights movement of our generation, since it shares of the same principles as the civil rights movement of the ’60s. However, there are many fundamental differences between the social movements of the late ’60s and today; although “fighting the good fight” seems objectively timeless, the pathology of protest has changed drastically and these two causes cannot be linked if either wishes to remain a relevant call for equality.

The term “civil rights” indicates the rights to personal liberty established by the U.S. Constitution. In this way, both the civil rights movement of the 1960s and the LGBTI movement of today are the same: Just as gays now seek the legal freedoms most people enjoy, blacks sought the same legal rights as whites during the ’60s. Both movements have been spearheaded by young adults on college and high school campuses. Both seek to end or reform unjust or unfair treatment, and both seek changes in legislation and public opinion as a remedy. Both focus on the idea of the personal and political quality of human life, and both have had a long history of the struggle to gain rights. Black people have suffered racial prejudice long before America was a country, and homosexuality has been persecuted for centuries and was considered a disease until 1973.

Yet although these similarities exist, the differences are just as numerous.

Some might say one group or the other has suffered more and therefore a comparison is inappropriate, but comparing the discrimination gays and blacks have suffered and would be like comparing apples and oranges. How can we say that either has suffered more? Having to sit in the back of the bus and being barred from adopting a child are both forms of discrimination, but beyond that, no obvious general ties can be drawn, so we can’t say if the suffering that resulted was equal or not. Also, by making a link between black rights and gay rights, in some ways we forget the many other groups that are discriminated against (the elderly, the handicapped, immigrants, unskilled workers, Native Americans and women, just to name a few.)

By linking two groups we run the risk of minimizing the hardships and hard-won freedoms of both. Not only that, but also by transforming a story of past courage into a lightning rod for current activism, how can we honor the goals accomplished by civil rights leaders? How can we respectfully remember the sacrifices of the civil rights movement if we are trying to relive our own version?

When all is said and done, I support any movement that seeks to provide all people with equal protection of the law. But every group is different, and even though the civil rights movements sought to change the legal situation (de jure), what really matters the most is the actual acceptance into mainstream society (de facto).

If either group wants to be accepted as a whole, they must find pride and strength in their individuality. No close analogy can be drawn between civil rights and gay rights, and it is inappropriate to generalize them by grouping them together; in reality gay rights and civil rights represent diverse people and goals.

The two causes can become blurred together and we may forget that each was a unique cause with a unique goal. If each embraces its identity, then it is more likely that the general public will too, and can ensure the groups are no longer discriminated against even after the legal battles have been won. In any sense, fighting prejudice is a continuing battle, and neither group has won total equality.

Just because I wish I was around for the March on Washington of 1963 doesn’t mean I should give the same support to LGBTI rights without first considering what supporting this cause means to me, to our country and to the people being discriminated against.

*Taylor Nye (tenye@wisc.edu) is a freshman majoring in English, French and Spanish.