Human Rights Campaign
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Who is Defending Marriage? Anyone Defending Equality?
Interestingly enough, last night President Obama pledged to continue his stance to get DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act repealed on the floor of the U.S. Congress. I will continue to say that the president repeated that pledge with the largest gay rights organization in the country as his audience on the eve of todays Equality March taking place in D.C.
Problem with that stance, that pledge, is that it won't be that simple. Let me first take the stance I always take and that is this. Know exactly what it is you are fighting for. Are you more interested in calling your same sex relationship a "marriage" or are you more interested in having that relationship be treated fairly and respected because you possess the rights of a marriage?
We seem to get so lost in the titles that we miss the forest for the trees. It might just sound like symantecs to you, but it sounds the same way to the opposition as well. For example, DOMA, was signed into law back in 1996, when then President Bill Clinton sat in the Oval. Lets be clear about what exactly DOMA is. It a bill that DEFENDS THE DEFINITION OF WHAT A MARRIAGE IS IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
And that definition was signed into law by one our countries most famous democratic presidents. Why? Because by overwhelming majorities in the House and in the Senate, Congress wanted to define marriage to prevent states from peeling off with their own interpretations. Kinda like whats happening now.
So although Mr. Obama wants to repeal DOMA which would simply allow states to make their own choices, which is fine for us @ familyblendz;trying to get Congress to actually vote to change the definition of what a marriage is would be a death sentence to many democrats back home in their districts.
Back to my original point though. What stops Domestic Partnerships from providing the same rights of the same sex couples from mirroring those of hetero couples? What are you gaining other than a title? Do you gain nothing because you can't have it all? Do you continue to throw the babies out with the water just because you can't get the water as warm as you like it?
Remember, the fight we wage is for equality, not branding;it is for rights, not wants. This message never goes over well among my LGBT folks, however, call it what you like, but in the meantime, families are hurting, loved ones are being denied access and benefits to children are being taken away (Arizona's recent Equality repeal).
Defend Marriage all you want, I and the rest of familyblendz will defend equality!