Gay Immigration Equality...or Unfairness? Let's stay focused!

The New York City Council passed a resolution Wednesday supporting a congressional bill to allow American citizens to sponsor their foreign-born, same-sex partners in the naturalization process.

The idea behind this goes kinda like this; Anyone who is not from the United States may be permitted to begin the Naturalization, or path to citizenship through their sponsorship or "partnering" up of their same sex significant other. Clearly, their are problems with this. You have to almost begin by wondering, "where do you start first with this one"?

First, this path has left a bitter taste with hetero couples. How many people or stories have you heard with someone from another country paying someone to marry them and live with them for 2yrs, federal law, so they could apply for citizenship? Those problems won't go away, they will only increase.

Gay Immigration sounds like a great idea, but I can't help but think "are we ready for this legal fight"? We very well may, but what a slippery slope that will be. I am one of those "americans" who are strong supporters of an even stronger immigration policy-to prevent illegals and undocumented workers from entering the country. Or even worse, to ensure terrorists are not allowed in through relaxed policies. So how can I be strong on immigration reform, but willing to relax those same policies for the GLBT community?

It almost goes against the 'Equality we are all fighting for. Well, that's my soap box. The resolution on the Uniting American Families Act of 2009 was passed within two weeks of being introduced. Eight people, including Immigration Equality executive director Rachel Tiven, testified to the Immigration Committee on September 29 in favor of the resolution.

Jerrold Nadler, a congressman representing parts of Brooklyn and Manhattan, is the leading sponsor of the House's version of the bill. Vermont's Patrick Leahy is the sponsor of the Senate's version.

Let's make sure, we don't allow politicians a free ride on their campaign pledges. What I mean is, they propose legislation that they know won't get passed, but they win a feather in their hats, simply because they proposed it. That shouldn't be enough. Mr. Leahy, I truly feel like this is one of those times. The Senate is no where close to relaxing immigration laws for hetero americans, they're definitely not considering relaxing these rules for the GLBT community.

Keep in mind, John McCain stayed closed in the run upto 'election '08 simply because he was able to rally the GOP around Immigration Reform. Let's keep our eye's on the ball folks...this dog won't hunt.

Terminator didn't disappoint....well not completely!

Just when you thought the Terminator was done, Act 2 was set to begin, stage left. Seriously, The GOP governor of California vowed to ensure that the creation of a State holiday named for Harvey Milk, the first openly gay politician to be elected to office in California. Last year the Governor vetoed such a day and had threatened to do so gain this year.

Well he did it. Schwarzenegger signed into law a bill that will call on the state to do a few things so let me break it down for you! (ONE)Recognize the marriages of same-sex couples who were legally married in other states during the brief time that same-sex marriages were legal in California. So lets get this right, although same sex marriages are no longer legal in Cally, the Gov has made it possible to acknowledge marriages that took place in other states during the same time California allowed it.

(TWO)He also approved legislation to expand services for LGBT survivors of domestic violence. Now that's huge! State resources for the gay communnity that protects those involved in domestic violence, lol, and cat-fights.

Schwarzenegger did veto the "Equal ID Act," which would allow transgender individuals to obtain revised birth certificates certifying their current gender. But honestly, thats crazy anyway, but thats just me talking. He also vetoed a "LGBT Prisoner Safety Act," which would have called for gender identity and orientation to be considered when housing prisoners.

Supporters wanted to mark May 22 as an annual Harvey Milk Day. They had pinned their hopes on the attention garnered by the film "Milk" late last year after Schwarzenegger’s previous veto. But the governor countered Milk’s accomplishments were not well known enough outside the Bay Area to merit a holiday.

"The Harvey Milk Day bill marks the first time in the nation’s history that a state will officially recognize and celebrate the contributions of an openly LGBT person with an annual day of special significance," said Geoff Kors, executive director of Equality California. "Californians will now learn about Harvey’s amazing contributions to the advancement of civil rights for decades to come. He is a role model to millions, and this legislation will help ensure his legacy lives on forever."

Kors expressed gratitutde to the Governor for signing these measures into law "and rising above partisan politics to improve the lives of LGBT Californians."

"The Marriage Recognition and Family Protection Act" calls on the state to recognize same-sex marriages conducted in 2008 outside the state before voters enacted Proposition 8 ended marriage equality in California. Listen, thats huge. Let's not overlook the small accomplishments. This is a step-step process.

"When California offered marriage licenses to same-sex couples in 2008, spouses who were already married in another state or country were prohibited from re-marrying in California," said the bill’s author, Sen. Mark Leno (D-San Francisco). "Now those couples and their families are in limbo because their rights and protections under law are not clear. This new law will ensure that same-sex couples are protected by existing California law that recognizes all marriages equally, regardless of where they are performed."

Harvey Milk Day is largely ceremonial. State offices won’t close, although schools are encouraged to provide information about Milk on that day. More immediate and concrete results may be seen from the "LGBT Domestic Violence Programs Expansion Bill", which will fund LGBT-specific domestic violence programs throughout the state through a $23 fee tacked onto domestic partnership registrations. The bill also modifies the requirements funding seekers must meet.

"Given the shortage of adequate care for our community," said bill author Assemblyman John Pérez (D-Los Angeles), "I am thrilled that this legislation will help ensure that all LGBT survivors of domestic violence will have increased access to culturally competent care and resources."

Surrogacy & Adoption for Same Sex Familyblendz Couples!

Circle Surrogacy has helped bring to the world over 250 babies since 1995. They have assisted couples and singles, gay and straight, from more than 30 different countries -- from as far away as Dubai, Afghanistan, Russia, Israel and Australia, as well as almost every European country, Canada and Columbia. They also have personnel in Boston, New York, Texas, Indiana and Arizona, and we work with all of the Harvard teaching hospitals and fertility centers in the Boston area, Connecticut, New York and California. They work with fertility centers from all over the country.

I wanted to present some of this information to you because I have been getting emails and questions regarding both adoptions and surrogacy. Lets not kid each other, surrogacy can be extremely expensive, yet what it provides is something that ultimately can't be bought.

As the next seminar for adoption and surrogacy approaches, think about attending to gain information on your own as well as have many of your questions answered by professionals as well as those who have already done it.

familyblendz is not affiliated with Circle Surrogacy and Adoptions, but this organization has a long history of working with Same sex Couples in America and goes above and beyond to help the GLBT community in starting families of their own.

Through some back channels, I was invited today to play a role in getting this seminar off the ground in the GLBT Community. We will continue some of these discussions tomorrow in our meeting with the Human Rights Campaign in Atlanta.

FamilyBlendz is eager to do whatever we can to not only share our experiences with raising children you and the rest of the GLBT-World, but we also want to ensure you are building a strong family base in your own life. Elle and I also want to ensure that those who desire these responsibilities as Same Sex Couples enjoy the right to do so.

As soon as I get more information I will surely pass it on to you! Email me your name(s) to "familyblendz@gmail.com" if you are interested in attending the Circle Surrogacy and Adoption Seminar in Atlanta. This IS A FREE EVENT!! I will be in contact with you regarding further information.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, More damaging to female soldiers?

In the aftermath of the U.S's failed military policy "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", Obama last night pledged to do away with the unfair practice as I blogged during the live event on CSPAN, all the dirt and secrets are begining to ooze out like an infected puss. We find that Women were dismissed from the military for being gay at a greater rate than men last year, according to new statistics obtained by a California research group.

All the services kicked out a disproportionate number of women under the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, according to Department of Defense data obtained by the Palm Center at the University of California, Santa Barbara. The center studies gender and sexuality in the military.

The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, implemented in 1994, bans troops who are openly gay from serving in the military.

In the Air Force, a majority of those removed were women, the first time a service has had such a record since the implementation of the controversial law in 1994, according to Palm Center senior research fellow Nathaniel Frank.

In fiscal year 2008, the Air Force dismissed 56 women and 34 men.

In addition, the Army removed more women under the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy at a greater rate than men when compared with the ratio of women to men in each service.

Of those discharged under the policy, 36 percent were women, although women make up only 14 percent of troops in the Army, the data showed.

I love former president Bill Clinton, however, even before signing the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996, which defined marriage in America as being between a man and a woman, he signed "Don't Ask..." into law in his first year as president! Oddly enough, Mr. Obama has pledged to repeal them both in the first year of his presidency...LOL. Are'nt they both democrats?

Let this be the hint coming from familyblendz that you haven't heard yet. The opposition to Mr. Obama for his gay rights agenda, and thank God for it, won't come from the what is believed to be the most obvious foes, the republicans, but instead this enemy is already "inside the encampment";democrats.

Who is Defending Marriage? Anyone Defending Equality?

Interestingly enough, last night President Obama pledged to continue his stance to get DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act repealed on the floor of the U.S. Congress. I will continue to say that the president repeated that pledge with the largest gay rights organization in the country as his audience on the eve of todays Equality March taking place in D.C.

Problem with that stance, that pledge, is that it won't be that simple. Let me first take the stance I always take and that is this. Know exactly what it is you are fighting for. Are you more interested in calling your same sex relationship a "marriage" or are you more interested in having that relationship be treated fairly and respected because you possess the rights of a marriage?

We seem to get so lost in the titles that we miss the forest for the trees. It might just sound like symantecs to you, but it sounds the same way to the opposition as well. For example, DOMA, was signed into law back in 1996, when then President Bill Clinton sat in the Oval. Lets be clear about what exactly DOMA is. It a bill that DEFENDS THE DEFINITION OF WHAT A MARRIAGE IS IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

And that definition was signed into law by one our countries most famous democratic presidents. Why? Because by overwhelming majorities in the House and in the Senate, Congress wanted to define marriage to prevent states from peeling off with their own interpretations. Kinda like whats happening now.

So although Mr. Obama wants to repeal DOMA which would simply allow states to make their own choices, which is fine for us @ familyblendz;trying to get Congress to actually vote to change the definition of what a marriage is would be a death sentence to many democrats back home in their districts.

Back to my original point though. What stops Domestic Partnerships from providing the same rights of the same sex couples from mirroring those of hetero couples? What are you gaining other than a title? Do you gain nothing because you can't have it all? Do you continue to throw the babies out with the water just because you can't get the water as warm as you like it?

Remember, the fight we wage is for equality, not branding;it is for rights, not wants. This message never goes over well among my LGBT folks, however, call it what you like, but in the meantime, families are hurting, loved ones are being denied access and benefits to children are being taken away (Arizona's recent Equality repeal).

Defend Marriage all you want, I and the rest of familyblendz will defend equality!

What Effect will the Equality March have?

I've been thinking and I'm not quite sure what the Equality March will have on the true march toward family equality. What is our agenda? I've found this has taken on different meaning for different people in the GLBT community. My support for the march I'm sure is not what yours might be yet, I'm perplexed when I think about the overall efforts being made as well as their expected outcomes. Take a look at what Barney Frank had to say about it just this week.

Rep. Barney Frank, the first openly gay member of Congress, says he’d rather see gay rights supporters lobbying their elected officials than marching in Washington this weekend, calling the demonstration "a waste of time at best."

Frank , in an interview with The Associated Press, said he considers such demonstrations to be "an emotional release" that does little to pressure Congress.

"The only thing they’re going to be putting pressure on is the grass," the Massachusetts Democrat said Friday.

Thousands of gay men and women are expected to gather for Sunday’s National Equality March.

Many gay rights advocates have criticized President Barack Obama for not moving faster to keep his campaign promises to extend gay rights, and Congress has also drawn flak for not doing more. Obama plans to speak Saturday at a dinner hosted by the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest gay rights group.

This weekend’s activities in Washington aren’t likely to have much impact with lawmakers, Frank said, since most of them are back in their states or districts for the Columbus Day holiday weekend.

Frank’s comments underscore divisions in the gay community over the pace of progress on civil rights.

Obama’s election, coupled with the Democratic control of the House and Senate, boosted hopes in the gay community for breakthroughs on sweeping measures to end discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

March organizers have said they’re no longer willing to quietly wait for Democratic office holders to make good on decades-old promises. They contend that lawmakers’ actions should catch up to the growing acceptance of gay relationships.

Organizers say the march is only part of a broader effort that includes the kind of lobbying Frank is urging.

"We hear Congressman Frank when he says this is about getting back into your district and doing the work there," said Kip Williams, co-director of the march. But he said the march in Washington "is about building community and building a network who will go back and do that work."

But Frank said the real problem is gathering enough votes in the House and Senate to win passage of anti-discrimination legislation.

Gay rights advocates should borrow from the playbooks of the two most effective interest groups, the National Rifle Association and the AARP, said Frank.

"Call or write your representative or senator, and then have your friends call and write their representative or senator," Frank said. "That’s what the NRA does. That’s what the AARP does."

Congress is on the verge of making it a federal crime to assault people because of their sexual orientation. The so-called hate crimes legislation was attached to a major defense bill approved by the House.

FamilyBlendz Social Network: Gaining Momentum!

I cannot thank the many of you who have already expressed interest in the FamilyBlendz Social Network; a group of Same Sex Couples who are raising a family or has a desire to so. O ur first event was successful and turnout was amazing especially since most of our contacts were by word of mouth. Your help in building our Twitter following is another great way of getting the word out about this family oriented social network for what we believe has become America's new modern family; a new normal.


Knowing this however is not enough! We know how to showcase our PRIDE, but now as a true familyblendz, we need to show how PROUD we are by being the new face and examples that will be required to move forward. Everything we do and are makes us activists of the sort simply because everything we do the "live", is what the media calls "unpredented".


What you are doing today, has not been done, so this makes you and I and the rest of this new group the best blueprint for the agenda, the policy, as well as the followthrough for what is to come with America's equality. Who we are, is unprecedented. If you are able to help with some event planning and setup (minimal), please let me know. Our next get together will be a casual networking function, i.e. light and fun. As soon as we confirm the next venue, all of the information, (Date/Time) will be posted up. Contact me at: familyblendz@gmail.com or on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/familyblendz

My 14 year old Champion!

Looking to plan a birthday party for our oldest daughter next month. It will be her first birthday party in so many years. I think each year, we've wanted to plan one for her, but it just never seemed to pan out as we would have wished.

So this year, as she turns 14, wow, just to think of that, 14 years old, I think we've settled on a theme.....lol, I think. She wants a skating party at a rink with some friends from school. Elle and I are more inclined to just go along with that...I mean, she's got her own ideas of what she wants and how she wants to celebrate it so...I dunno.

Through it all, she's handled a lifetime of transition like a champion would. She's still 14 and very much still a child, but in so many ways her support for my happiness has been unconditional and full. We're still a month away from her birthday, but wanted to get a head start with some of the details to ensure we get it right!

* This is a follow-up to my previous blog, "Equality Arrested?": President Barack Obama plans to address the nation’s largest gay rights group this weekend in an effort to mollify an uneasy Democratic constituency frustrated with the White House’s slow pace.Obama plans to address Saturday’s Human Rights Campaign fundraising dinner gala, the organization and the White House announced Monday afternoon.

"It is fitting that (Obama) will speak to our community on the night that we pay tribute to his friend and mentor Sen. Edward Kennedy, who knew that as president, Barack Obama would take on the unfinished business of this nation - equal rights" for the gay community and for "every person who believes in liberty and justice for all," said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese.

The dinner falls on the eve of the National Equality March, expected to draw thousands of gay and lesbian activists to the National Mall. Many have been critical of Obama’s slow pace on redeeming campaign promises to end a ban on gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military and pushing tough nondiscrimination policies."Eleven months after his election, he has failed to deliver on any of his commitments to gay Americans, but even worse has been his refusal to engage around these issues," said Richard Socarides, who advised President Bill Clinton’s administration on gay and lesbian policy."What he needs to do now is engage and deliver," said Socarides.

"Spend some of his political capital on ending the gay military ban, a hugely symbolic issue. And with no intellectually sound arguments left against it, come out squarely for gay marriage equality."Obama wasn’t likely to go that far, though, despite a rocky relationship with gay grass roots activists. He has taken a slow and incremental approach to the politically charged issues.

He has expanded some federal benefits to same-sex partners, but not health benefits or pension guarantees. He has allowed State Department employees to include their same-sex partners in certain embassy programs already available to opposite-sex spouses.But that remains far short of his campaign rhetoric."At its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans," Obama said a 2007 statement on gay issues.

"It’s about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect."Since then, he publicly has committed himself to repealing the "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy that allows gays and lesbians to serve in the military as long as they don’t disclose their sexual orientation or act on it.

On Jan. 9, Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs answered "yes" when asked whether the administration would end a policy that has seen the dismissal of more than 12,000 troops after their sexual orientation was revealed.But as president, Obama hasn’t taken any concrete steps urging Congress to rescind the Clinton-era policy that some former chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff have acknowledged is flawed.

Yet the office of the current chairman, Adm. Mike Mullen, signed off on a journal article that called for lifting the ban, arguing that the military is forcing thousands of military members to live dishonest lives.Obama also pledged during the campaign to work for repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, which limits how state, local and federal bodies can recognize partnerships and determine benefits. But lawyers in his administration defended the law in a court brief.

White House aides said they were only doing their jobs to back a law that was already on the books.Even before Obama took office, he disappointed gay and lesbian activists who objected to the invitation to evangelist Rev. Rick Warren’s participation in the inauguration despite Warren’s support for repealing gay marriage in California.

Arrested Equality?

The White House yesterday, announced that President Obama will speak to GLBT community on the eve of the National Equality March on Washington, D.C. My question to you, 'family, is what does Obama need to say to quel some of the angst building against his presidency?

When campaigning, Obama promised many things to the GLBT community, but has failed to deliver. Being forward about this however, the community has been extremely patient giving the current economic agenda and full plate that now rests on his Oval Office desk.

Now that the National Equality March is approaching, questions are being raised and answers are being demanded from this administration. Promises were made a year ago, so clearly there is no more room at the table for promises or proposals. As states who have already awarded right and benefits are repealing both, action is being required from the president. I truly believe that 'equality's development has been arrested. Shackled by tradition, sentenced by society for a lifetime of injustice to families. He, Obama, better speak and dammit, he better speak fast.